AcmeShorts

home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

Smitty came in and headed straight for the kegerator. He poured a Sierra, sat down next to me and grabbed the other joystick.

"'sup," I said without looking up from the game.

"It's bad, dude. Worse than I thought. Pec cancer."

Date Written: July 21, 2003
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 2

Comments:
07/21/2003 Will Disney: as in pecker?
07/21/2003 qualcomm: no, like pectorals. see, cuz he's too fratty to refer to his own breast as a breast.
07/21/2003 Will Disney: okay i get it
07/21/2003 qualcomm: never mind. i blew it. i always blow it. this thing sucks. i suck.
07/21/2003 Dylan Danko (1): Don't be so hard on yourself. For what it's worth I think its really great!
08/30/2004 scoop: Some dudes are so diesel they think its sorta gay to call them pecs. Take me for instance. It would be a real euphemism to call these galvanized steel Voltron-like missle launchers just pecs. I mean, come on. These things are beautiful.
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony (2): This isn't that bad, Dylan! One star? Come on! Try some intellectual honesty with your meal!
08/30/2004 qualcomm: jesus christ. two stars? come on, pony.
08/30/2004 scoop: WHAT ABOUT MY GLORIOUS FUCKING CHEST!?
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Summer, was there more to this than in your explanation?
08/30/2004 qualcomm: nope
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Well, it wasn't out of anger, if that's what you're worried about.
08/30/2004 qualcomm: i was more concerned about poor judgment and voting error
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Well, what do you think this short deserved?
08/30/2004 qualcomm: 3. it's a one-gag deal, but i believe the gag stands the test of time and is well-presented. it does what it's supposed to do.
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: I didn't feel like the short didn't really help me understand the joke the first couple of times I read it, and I didn't think that much of the joke you described below. I think the length of this one (or something) actually hurts it. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's as if the joke is looking up at me expectantly. I agree with you that a three would also be an acceptable vote. I also believe that it is not outside the realm of possibility that someone could read this, really like it; really feel it, and give it a five.
08/30/2004 qualcomm: you fucking pinko
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: You should start labeling your shorts with the proper star rating. The squishy realm of human opinion and subjectivity is obviously too much for your mind to handle.
08/30/2004 qualcomm: Thank you for the subjective compliment.
08/30/2004 scoop: Gentlemen, friends, plese don't fight. Instead get lost in the meat of my massive chiseled Voltoron missle launching chest and see the truth that all this "tivity" talk is leading to the worst "tivity" of all: negativity.
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Very well. I'm willing to shift my attention to scoop's missile-like breast. I know Summer agrees with me on some level, and even surpasses my subjective nature because of his disturbingly touchy-feely views of the nature of time.
08/30/2004 qualcomm: scoop's breasts remind me the sex-changed neo-nazi's from the beginning of Dark Knight #3.
08/30/2004 scoop: Their not breasts dude, that's gay.
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Wow! Do scoop's breasts have big red swastikas on them?
08/30/2004 qualcomm: yes, and upturned nipples
08/30/2004 TheBuyer (3): 3. One for each pec.
09/1/2004 Litcube (2): I'll give it two for the one-punch gag, like OSS spelled out for us.
09/1/2004 Mr. Pony: I think he said it deserved a three.
09/1/2004 Litcube: +*
09/1/2004 Litcube: You must be hitting all four angles on that bitch. Your striations are awesome, bra.