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Peter couldn’t sleep. His empty bed was kicking his ass.

“You’re a loser, dude,” it was saying.

“Is that all?” Peter asked.

“You’re a loser,” the bed went on. “And if you don’t stop dribbling bodily fluids into me I’m going to send out an army of bedbugs to lay eggs in your ears while you're asleep.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” said Peter.

Date Written: July 28, 2003
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.7

07/28/2003 anonymous (5):
05/20/2004 Mr. Pony (5): What the devil!?!
06/22/2004 TheBuyer (4): I keep hitting these pockets of Disney that are all shorter than my pinkie.
04/26/2005 The Rid (5): Awesome.
06/15/2006 Litcube (4.5): Yes.
11/2/2006 Master Bates (5):
12/8/2006 Master Bates: she said that