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You Probably Think This Is Another Gimmicky Acme Shorts Name (Such As Often The Qualities We Most Loathe In Others Are Those We Most Fear In Ourselves (From The Eponymous And Patently Superior Short)), But It Was Actually This Guy's Name--Hyperlink, Parentheses, And All, Up To And Including These Very Words You're Reading Now. Anyway, This Guy did was masturbating. Psych! That Was Part Of His Name, Too, Including The "did was" Typo! I Can't Believe You Fell For That, Dum-Dum. Okay, Now The Story's Actually Going To Begin, Right After The Capitalization Ends, As This Guy was in the midst of purchasing dry goods. Holy Crap, You Didn't Fall For It Again, Did You? That Means You Are Exceedingly Gullible! I Mean, Yeah, Anyone Can Plainly See The Guy Is Purchasing Dry Goods, But That's A Total Coincidence. But Seriously, This Guy is going to shoot up a school tomorrow, and he has to be stopped! He's a very sick individual. No, this isn't his name anymore, he's really going to do it! I'm his pastor and he confessed his plans to me not ten minutes ago! Help! Help!

Date Written: December 23, 2012
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.83333

12/28/2012 scoop (5): Powerful stuff, guy. Real JJIE meets Swift type thing happening.
01/6/2013 Jon Matza (4.5): Enjoyed, despite massive debt to the Cars' "You Might Think". Toothsome unpredictability. "Dry goods"
03/12/2013 Marvin_Bernstein: I think you mmisspelld gullable
12/16/2013 TheBuyer (5): I'm proud to join you on the NSA watchlist, dumbass.
12/23/2013 Marvin_Bernstein: did you mean me or him?