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Hey, it's great to be back in the Poconos, the cheap tin buckle in the borscht belt!

Seriously, I feel great, though. I mean, whose self-esteem wouldn't skyrocket in a room full of dying geezers?

That was a joke, folks. Listen, how about I tell you when the punchline's coming next time?

Hey grandpa, nice to meet you, what's your name? Sam, huh? Well, listen, Sam, let me ask you something: when's the last time you had an erection?

Is this your wife? Hey, baby, what's shaking? I mean, other than your hands? No really, though, is that your natural hair color, or did you get it dyed by a smurf?

You look like an oil painting. Come on, people, I've seen livelier crowds at the Holocaust Museum!

Ah, fuck all of you kikes, I'm outta here.

Date Written: November 20, 2003
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.2

11/20/2003 Will Disney (5): laugh - out - loud
11/22/2003 Benny Maniacs (5): Extremely savage and full of references upon subreferences (Joyce, Carrol, Oats, need I go on?).
11/24/2003 Phony Millions: Methinks someone just saw Caddyshack again. Still it departs from Dangerfield's good-natured rant, because, you see folks, Feldspar is just full of venom! That's why we love him. He's just not uplifting and that's okay.
04/7/2004 scoop (4): Not as strong as Texxx's, but a real strong effort neverhteless.
01/17/2005 TheBuyer (5): (fucking gravol)
08/8/2007 Lady Pissant (2): generic geriatric