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Johnny Jinky was majorly pumped. Skeptical about the new one-short-per-week system at first, he realized now it had lit a fire under his belly and the creative juices were coursing through his bloodstream like a turbo-charged ramrod rocket! He began to type as fast as he could, the words and phrases spilling out a mile a minute. Finally he stopped and read over what he'd produced...

He could not believe how utterly proof it was. "Fuck 'n' A!!" he shouted, leaping to his feet, tearing off his shirt and pumping his fist in the air triumphantly. He hadn't felt such a sweet feeling in a long while. Johnny flexed his muscles hard and let out a primal roar.

Nor was he done celebrating his achievement. "I owe you one, coach!" he screamed, pounding the wall for emphasis. This was addressed to the site administrators collectively, for it was their "tough-love" policy that had resulted in what Johnny considered to be his best work. Now Johnny was swaggering up and down his hallway with a sneer, intermittently unleashing air karate kicks and taunting his imaginary rivals. "Bada-booom, bada-bing! Boo-ya! How ya like me now, muthafukka?? Suck it raw!!!!" Things hadn't been going so well for Johnny lately, but he sensed that a new chapter was about to begin.

Date Written: December 01, 2003
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4

12/2/2003 qualcomm (4): the new cruelty isn't about tough love with the authors. fuck the authors. the filthy rabble could 'get stuffed' for all i care. it's about being fair to the acmeshorts customer. it's about responsibility to the website. you don't like it? there's the door.
12/2/2003 Jon Matza: Say what you will...you can't stop Johnny Jinky from feeling good about himself. Ka-BOOM!!!
12/2/2003 Dylan Danko: Where's the door?
12/2/2003 Phony Millions (4): This has...relavance.
11/29/2004 John Slocum (4): I love it when Matza talks like this.