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I suffer from a rare and debilitating condition. I have been afflicted by it for as long as I can remember. It’s so embarrassing, I cannot even write these words without shuddering with shame. As a consequence I have grown to be a virtual shut-in. And yet I continue to live with it, for I fear I have no other choice save death. But can I even say it? I must. Nearly every day, and on occasion more than once a day, my gut is overcome by intense cramps. Within a short while, in an uncontrollable spasm of release, a thick brown paste emerges between my buttocks. Where it comes from, nobody knows. But its odor is unmistakable. The stench is apparent almost immediately and will not dissipate until I have taken off my slacks and underthings and removed the strange brown substance some distance. I then must scoop the remains from between my buttocks and make use of various cleansing agents to thoroughly restore order to my hind quarters. For a while I would save a handful of the paste, hoping to unlock its mysteries. But after smearing samples onto microscope slides and examining them for hours on end, I realized that I don’t know anything about science. As you might imagine, this condition has destroyed my life. And yet that is not all. No. My penis also squirts some sort of yellow liquid!
Date Written: June 19, 2013
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.125
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