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Up in the mountains above Hallowed Creek, there is a cabin tucked away in a hidden glen. Its boards are rough hewn-and its roof is thatched. Within the cabin, tucked away in the corner, a gnome masturbates with greater passion than can be found down here among the city folk. I mean that guy really believes in something!

Date Written: December 30, 1899
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.5

12/30/1899 anonymous (5):
05/27/2003 scoop (4): clearly you've never seen me masturbate.
04/14/2004 Mr. Pony (4): That's cool, but not as cool as the fact that you submitted the short over two thousand years ago! Freak!
06/10/2004 scoop: I sadly undervalued this short. This is a linguistic totem for acme that should be honored in some way. I always think about it when I meet someone who cares -- like a community activist or a protester or an ideologue or a muslim -- and I think about this gnome masturbating the hell out of his gnome cock. This has been a real gift.
12/7/2004 John Slocum (4): Was Jesus Christ dead by the time you wrote this?
12/7/2004 qualcomm (5): dude, jesus was like, 1.
12/7/2004 John Slocum: Oh, right. I was thinking in 100's for some inexplicable reason.
12/7/2004 scoop: This remains one of my favorite shorts. Thanks again for the gift of this gnome, Snow, you ass hole.
12/7/2004 Mr. Joshua (5): The lost template for many a classic Disney short?
12/7/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (5): This has a certain majesty--a beautiful melancholy flavor. Really brings back the days of yore.