AcmeShorts

home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

Marvin hadn't washed his hair now for three months consecutively. It wasn't good. Other things too. His mouth was an open anus. His nether-regions were swampy; New Orleans, perhaps. And yet, he couldn't put his finger on exactly what event had sucked him into this whirlpool of bad hygiene. He felt, he felt like a, like he hadn't really lived in a while. LIVED, god damn it! He was a corpse! Like when the hair and fingernail cells are still growing and nobody gives you a pedicure or bothers to shave you.

Maybe the key was to get out a little, see the world. He tried to. Nope, the lid wasn't budging. He couldn't even lift his hands, come to think of it. Or open his eyes! What the fuck! It was weird - like being on really really weird drugs. He was literally a corpse. No really, Marvin was a CORPSE. This is a dead guy I'm talking about. I'm not being metaphorical here. He's DEAD. Just MOVE ON.

Date Written: December 04, 2003
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 4.125

Comments:
12/8/2003 anonymous (4):
12/8/2003 anonymous (1):
12/8/2003 qualcomm: so marvin hadn't really "forgotten" to wash his hair after all, huh? fucking liar.
12/8/2003 Noah Simple: Damnit. I'll never take a metaphor seriously again. NEVER! You're a dead man! Metaphorically...or literally! Who knows anymore!?
12/8/2003 Mr. Pony (5): I like that with my head.
12/8/2003 Phony Millions: How can he have 'breath' if he's dead?
12/20/2003 Ewan Snow: Benny, I find it quite lame that you changed the first line to address the criticism below about "forgetting." Really, I think you can do better than this.
12/20/2003 qualcomm (4): i must say that although this short is dumb as shit, it still makes me laugh. LOL!
12/21/2003 Benny Maniacs: Hey, what can I say. Feldspeare was right.
03/13/2004 scoop (5): What are you doing? MOVE ON ASS HOLE!
05/19/2004 Mr. Joshua (5): I like coming back to this one when I'm feeling blue.
05/19/2004 Mr. Joshua: Incidentally, this is not one of those times when I'm feeling blue.
05/31/2004 TheBuyer (4): baddaboomching
01/28/2005 John Slocum (5): Having moved back to this, I will now move on.