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A few pebbles lay in the dirt near the base of the church gate. No one was paying attention to them, nor should they have been. Their intended purpose, if any, was to ineffectively symbolize the depressing atmosphere that had settled upon Noroton, Connecticut as of late. They didn't take up much room, at least. You could say that for them.

Getting back to the narrative...It was midday by now. This being the case, it was a safe bet that Mrs. Pemberly was in her kitchen doing something useful at this very moment. Tidying up was a good bet.

Amazing how time flies. One or two more weeks and it'd be too cold to leave the windows open.

The lonely echo of a foghorn could not be heard far off in the distance.

Date Written: January 06, 2004
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 3.625

Comments:
01/11/2004 anonymous (1):
01/11/2004 qualcomm (5): me, i like this.
03/10/2004 scoop (5): Yeah, that last line is real important.
03/11/2004 annebot (1): pure crap.
03/11/2004 Dylan Danko (5): I can't let this one get flamed like that. How dare you annebot! Act like a woman.
03/11/2004 qualcomm: more revenge voting by annebot.

women. shit.
03/11/2004 Jon Matza: Yeah, like the two one stars she gave me when I criticized her for premptively 5-starring herself. Thanks, Danko.
03/11/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Hang on, hang on; maybe she does think this short's pure crap. She's both entitled to and capable of that opinion.
05/18/2004 TheBuyer (2): That last comment was just pure pissyness, but this one...no seriously, is this an inside joke or something? How can anyone account for rating this over a 2?
05/18/2004 scoop: Granted the word Connecticut is a sure fire evidence of an "inside joke", but there a number of reasons to justify grading this higher than two stars. Here are some: This works as an understated but seering satire of writerly writing that lingers over meaningless details. It works ss meta exploration that doesn't take meta seriously, but is capably funny in an ironic sense despite poking fun at itself; eg - "No one was paying attention to them, nor should they have been," "it was a safe bet that Mrs. Pemberly was in her kitchen doing something useful at this very moment" and "The lonely echo of a foghorn could not be heard far off in the distance." Matza uses the vocie of a narrator who phones in his narratorial duties but is clearly going to enough trouble to tell us this little bit. It's unexpected and original, and on those merits warrants more than two stars. This is Gogol funny, not fart joke funny, but funny indeed.
06/3/2004 TheBuyer: scoop: accidentally ignored this comment. Based on that logic I badly lowballed this author and came off illiterate; then again I still didn't laugh at it or think about later so I'm justified in my rating but ignorant for my reasons.
11/22/2004 John Slocum (5): What Scoop said, also I laughed and thoroughly enjoyed this.
08/12/2007 qualcomm: the august 6th new yorker featured a soviet artist whose fiction had never been published before. this commie was fond of the short-short form, and apparently, he was a man after matza's own heart. check out the first story:

"At two o’clock on Nevsky Prospekt, or, rather, on the Avenue of October 25th, nothing of note occurred. No, no, that man who has stopped near the Coliseum is there purely by accident. Maybe his bootlace came untied, or maybe he wanted to light a cigarette. Or something else entirely! He’s just a visitor and doesn’t know where to go. But where are his things? Wait, he’s raising his head for some reason, as if to look into the third floor, or even the fourth, maybe even the fifth. No, look, he simply sneezed, and now he’s on his way again. He slouches a little and his shoulders are hunched. His green overcoat flaps in the wind. Just now he turned onto Nadezhdenskaya and disappeared around the corner.

A shoeshine man with Eastern features stared after him and smoothed his fluffy mustache with his hand.

His overcoat was long and thick, of a purple hue, either plaid or striped, or maybe, damn it all, polka dot."

word to the wise, matza: this man died of starvation in a mental hospital, in which the authorities had committed him for "defeatism."
08/14/2007 Jon Matza: de-foetism
04/1/2009 scoop: The similarities don't end there, Matza dog! "Many of his poems and short stories for children, are considered classics of the genre and his roughly twenty children's books are well known and loved by kids to this day, - despite his personal deep disgust for children."
04/1/2009 scoop: The similarities don't end there, Matza dog! "Many of his poems and short stories for children, are considered classics of the genre and his roughly twenty children's books are well known and loved by kids to this day, - despite his personal deep disgust for children."
04/1/2009 scoop: The similarities don't end there, Matza dog! "Many of his poems and short stories for children, are considered classics of the genre and his roughly twenty children's books are well known and loved by kids to this day, - despite his personal deep disgust for children."
04/1/2009 scoop: The similarities don't end there, Matza dog! "Many of his poems and short stories for children, are considered classics of the genre and his roughly twenty children's books are well known and loved by kids to this day, - despite his personal deep disgust for children."
04/6/2009 Ewan Snow: Okay, enough already, Scoop. I think you've made your point. Give it a rest.
04/6/2009 Jon Matza: Thanks for your comments, brothermen. A few thoughts. 1) Why didn't they feed the luantics in the hospital. Or was it a hunger strike progrum. 2) Offhand depiction of the guy w/mustache and purple polka dot overcoat reminds me of my portrayal of Disney in this short. (Maybe not now that I looked at it.) 3) Children's books eh? Maybe I'll take a stab at one of those things. Bet they're cinchy. EH SNIMSON?