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“Where ya’ going,” the cabbie barked through an unlit stogie he gnawed in his chops.
“Home,” I replied. And for the first time, in a long time, it didn’t hurt to say.

As we drove, I stared out the window in to the night. I could barely make out the old oak over Dead Man’s Gulch. I wasn’t sure if I saw McCafferty’s tire swing hanging from its sturdy limb, or whether I was conjuring ghosts. Memories.

As we turned on to Twelfth Street and eased in to the driveway, the gravel crunched beneath the cab’s tires. A sound once as familiar to me as my own breathing now felt foreign.

I climbed out of the cab. How long had it been? Too long. I opened the screen door, pausing to run my hands over its imperfections.

But as I crossed the threshold I felt like an interloper, a psychic burglar poaching someone else’s memories. The texture of the red brick walls, the creak in the lonely staircase, the mysterious dark wood floors – it all seemed so strange, so alien. I guess it is true what they say. You really can’t go home again.

But later that night, as I eagerly sniffed my little sister’s used tampons, I found comfort in the warm thought that some things never change. It dawned on me then that you can go home again. As long as your sister’s on the rag!

Date Written: January 24, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.5

02/1/2004 Jon Matza: I was sorry to learn that the screen door had imperfections (and unsure why it was worth mentioning). 2nd par. could also be profitably omitted. To tell you the truth, I'd keep the first paragraph and cut everything else except "Later that night...some things never change." Disney: please make these changes and give me co-author credit.
02/1/2004 Ewan Snow (4): Although this one feels a bit long, the corny voice and supposedly haunting/nostalgic details that dominate the beginning are crafted consistently and with some skill, if not laugh out loud funny. The end, conversely, did make me laugh out loud, though it was jokier than is usually my taste. In any case I’m giving it four stars, even though it doesn’t pack a big laugh, because three stars seems less than it deserves.
02/1/2004 senator (3): I like the writing style. Too long. The punchline (I think I may be a punchline junkie), left a little to be desired. Matza's comment made me laugh.
02/2/2004 senator: psychic burglar. Now that is good shit...it slipped through one of the large gaps in my brain, the first time.
02/2/2004 qualcomm (3): fucking hipster.
02/7/2004 Phony Millions (4): Yeah, 'poaching someone else's memories'. You could have almost kept it serious and it would have been funny in a New Yorker cartoon kind of way - the corny tone was corny but also good, which is funny in itself. It's always funny when something's corny but good.