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“You have to write what you KNOW!”

“But I’m writing a provocative and thoughtful meditation on the futility of epistemology.”

“Well then you are FUCKED my friend.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey! Wait a second...”

Date Written: February 01, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.25

Comments:
02/10/2004 Jon Matza: That's Snow, I'll wager.
02/10/2004 Ewan Snow (3): Nope, but it is sort of Snow-like. Not a bad effort. Only problem is I didn't laugh...
02/10/2004 qualcomm (2): evans, danko and matza have lost their prognosticatory priveleges.
02/10/2004 anonymous: Hey Feldspar, you ass hole. It's a "suggestively rhyming" expansive poem written in an inscrutable meter. Or maybe a opaque experimental L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poem. Either way it's so beautiful. How dare you!
02/10/2004 anonymous (5): one star for the words I chose, two stars for making a poem sound like prose, three stars for the making the words sing, four stars for something, something, and five stars because im a fucking genius
02/10/2004 Dylan Danko: Fucking Scoop.
02/10/2004 anonymous: See, I would've guessed scoop as well, except the comment "How dare you?" is a distinctively Feldsparian phrase often co-opted by Danko and it would be just like Danko to try and smoke screen by mimicking the scoopian form and then further by commenting on it. Now I'm not sure who the hell it is. Probably scoop.
02/10/2004 Dylan Danko: By co-opted you meant lovingly borrowed right? Scoop has also co-opted it on numerous occasions and that led me to my guess. But enough silliness trying to guess the author. What about the short?
02/10/2004 Dylan Danko: Anyone who misspells privilege has no right to revoke anything. Cunt!
02/10/2004 qualcomm: that's so weird, because i typed it in Word to make sure it was privilege, then i misspelled it anyway! shucks.
02/10/2004 Will Disney: Bullshit, Jon.
02/10/2004 Phony Millions: I thought this smells like Disney in its brevity and sock-it-to-you flavor.
02/10/2004 Will Disney: I didn't write it. At least, I claim to have not written it. I was just calling Jon's "Word" story bullshit. No biggie.
02/10/2004 qualcomm: nah, it's scoop. epistemology.
02/10/2004 Dylan Danko: and "write what you know."
02/10/2004 qualcomm: don't be an asshole, danko. "write what you know" is not at all scooplike.
02/10/2004 Dylan Danko: Come on, Jon. There's a particularly Scoop-like irony in it. Don't you have pie-charts to make?
02/10/2004 qualcomm: "pie-charts". fuckin limey.
02/10/2004 anonymous: No more anonymous comments or votes.
02/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Of course it's scoop. He's been threatening me lately, and I'd know that scary scary voice anywhere.
02/10/2004 anonymous (3): I guess I'll have to say, anonymously, 3 stars.
08/9/2004 TheBuyer (5): Highball 5 splashed on the lowball 3's n'shit.
08/9/2004 qualcomm: know what would be sweet? if you added this line at the end:

"Mulp."