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The simple potato is nothing to turnup your nose at...for it can be put too so many uses! Some people preffer to eat it with butter, others like to serve it mashed how ever, and then they sprinkle some salt on it. (I like it both ways, which probably sounds sooo wierd!) Plus some times they are made into potato chips (which most every one enjoys but are not as healthy, because their fried.) They have Lays regular and with ridges, that are called Rufles. You probibly wont beleive how many diferent types of potatos there are, either, such as blue potatos, red potatos, yellow potatos, Russert potatos and even potatos they call fingerling potatos (I know - sounds tottaly boggus!) With all these diferent potatos you can buy, it can be overwelmhing to know which kind of potato is the most sensational. But here's one thing every one can agree on: which is they taste good! (Also they had a humungus potato famine in 1848 and there were no potatos what's so ever!)

Date Written: February 02, 2004
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 3.0909

02/11/2004 anonymous (1):
02/11/2004 qualcomm (2): bag of dicks.
02/11/2004 scoop (1): You say Po-tay-to, I say Po-TA-to. You say it's funny, I say no, it's not.
02/11/2004 Will Disney (3): This seems to have been cribbed from someone's younger brother/sister. Someone's STUPID younger brother/sister. I'm aware that's the gag. Jesus christ, this is a fucking D+ paper. And also, there aren't so many "funny" parts.
02/11/2004 anonymous: Crap! If I knew everybody hated potatoes so much I'd never have written this short!
02/11/2004 qualcomm: i'm thinking snow is the culprit here.
02/11/2004 Ewan Snow: Why does everybody think that I wrote every crappy short that gets posted?
02/11/2004 anonymous: Not that anyone probably is interested, but it wasn't his younger brother or sister he cribbed it from. He cribbed it from his little cousin. Also, the reference to the potato famine shows the narrator's attempt to use historical data to support his thesis, but he doesn't even realize it was in Ireland! This gives the short its humor and adds cohesivity. You guys need to lighten up.
02/11/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: I doesn't sound like you, Snow, but it does sound like Cap'n Crunch. Oh yeah, that was Captain Crunch, wasn't it.
02/11/2004 qualcomm: yeah, i thought it was the cap'n crunch voice
02/11/2004 qualcomm: Texxx (assumption) -- what's with this "lighten up" crap?
02/11/2004 Texxx: Not I, mein Freund.
02/11/2004 qualcomm: well i'm humdingered, then
02/12/2004 Phony Millions (5): How can you guys not get this? It's fucking hilarious! It's not just little kid-speak; it's the vernacular of a stupid adult trying to sound (and write) informed. It has humanity, damnit. That's why it's funny. I laughed a lot on this one. It's demented and great.

Amen, Matza!
02/12/2004 Texxx: Hilarious? Hmm. Out of respect for the author's greatness, I withhold my vote.
02/12/2004 Noah Simple (3): Maybe not potato genius, but I do like the parenthetical reference to the "humungus potato famine in 1848." In fact, any kind of famine in paretheses is funny. (Seriously though, famine is horrible, we shouldn't joke about it.)
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: Re Texxx witholding his vote: i.e., "I'm kicking myself for not one-starring this when others did. Now I can't without looking like a hypocrite and jackass, given that I've been screaming lately about Matza voting on one of my shorts after my name was published. I know! I'll revert to my signature petulant, subtlety-free sarcasm. That'll show 'em!"
02/12/2004 anonymous: bad
02/12/2004 Craig Lewis (4): This is very good.
02/12/2004 Mr. Pony (2): The gimmick is spread on really thick. I guess that makes sense to do, 'cause it's a bit of a caricature, but it gets sort of predicatable--almost like it wrote itself. Also, Texxx and Noah stay up very very late.
02/12/2004 Texxx: Matza, you can calm down. Honestly, I'm not that upset. I vote when I feel like voting. I didn't want to come off like a hypocrite by giving you a low vote - that much is true. But I wouldn't have voted at this point regardless of author. Take a deep breath.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: Thanks for your permission to calm down, l'il Texxie. I'll try to remain unruffled and composed like you...
2/9/2004 11:45:59 AM - You know what's funny? How I keep getting anonymous one-star ratings for my shorts. Now that's funny! Or how Matza waited till after my identity was revealed to post his subpar rating.
2/10/2004 11:12:06 AM: What a lovely bunch of people you all are. Almost makes me question my friendship with Disney, who's apparently friendly with the majority of you. How and why, I have no idea. Lovely.
2/10/2004 12:26:24 PM It's nice to see Matza wait until my name is revealed to crap all over a short that's received roundly positive reviews..."
2/10/2004 2:56:05 PM - What I don't like is the fact that people have been giving my work anonymous bad ratings to try and discourage my participation.
2/11/2004 11:07:20 AM - (response to finding out a short he'd rated well was by me): "Matza? What the?! Man, I wish I had waited till after the author's name were revealed. Oh man!"
Conclusion: Texxx trying to adopt a condescending tone and tell others to relax is like Bush (or Texxx) trying to correct someone else's English. Try again, stupid!
02/12/2004 qualcomm: yes, evans, i didn't like it because matza's already done this schtick, and much more subtly. i won't bother finding the shorts/message board posts and linking to them from here, but if you look through his back catalog, you'll see what i'm saying.
02/12/2004 Texxx: Matza, that last comment of you mine you cited was a joke, okay? Nice research. I guess everyone thinks I'm stupid now, as you suggest. Kudos.
02/12/2004 Texxx: Please disregard the 'you' before 'mine'.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: That's right. Up until that moment your intelligence was held in high esteem, but my gratuitous mean-spiritedness has tricked people into re-examining and questioning the respect you so deserve. Sorry about that, l'il pardner!
02/12/2004 Texxx: Right. Nothing you do is gratuitous. Oh, to be smart in your eyes. That's what I want this Christmas.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: How about just to be smart?
02/12/2004 Texxx: You didn't let me get to what I wanted for Monkeymas.
02/12/2004 Jon Matza: That's probably because I was trying to make myself feel better about myself.
05/31/2004 John Slocum (5): I can't believe this got rated so low! My vote is not corrective, I believe in this short. I think it's very skillfully rendered. I'd like to see you try to do this.
06/1/2004 TheBuyer (4): "overwelmhing"
11/9/2004 The Rid (4):