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The yolks of the children’s eyes ran into sticky pools on their tiny desks, the result of self-inflicted ritualistic wounds with sharpened no. 2 pencils. Little Timmy’s corpse rotted in the corner, transformed by the students in to a mysterious Deity signifying rebirth, instilling dread and inspiring awe. A strange, new language of frantic gibberish and inscrutable gesticulation swept through the class. Textbooks smoldered in a pyre.

It occurred to me then that perhaps I had mishandled the curriculum in some important way. Meanwhile the cameras rolled.

Obviously complaints would be registered. Meetings scheduled. It was unclear with whom. However one thing was certain -- I had some explaining to do.

Date Written: February 03, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.25

02/12/2004 anonymous (4):
02/12/2004 Noah Simple (4): Not sure i see what the issue is - I mean, they were using no. 2 pencils.
02/12/2004 Ewan Snow (4): I sort of like this one. Though it wasn't a big laugh, it was interesting in it strangeness...
02/12/2004 Jon Matza (4): This is home economics class, I assume. Good middle paragraph, last line. (Please don't be Texxx, please don't be Texxx...)
02/12/2004 Will Disney (4): The yolks part made me kinda hungry.
02/12/2004 Dylan Danko (5): This guy obviously didn't do his lesson plans.
02/12/2004 qualcomm (5): the first line is worth five stars.
02/12/2004 qualcomm: no way, matza, it's scoop.
02/12/2004 Dick Vomit (4): Affirm/agree.
02/12/2004 Dylan Danko: Cone on Feldspar, must you always be a hypocrite
02/12/2004 qualcomm: yes. i must. now refer back to that link of yours and follow the directives given in the last sentence of my comments dated 2/11/2004 12:41:59 PM.
02/12/2004 Dylan Danko: Dude, I'm tryin' man but it's really hard.
02/12/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): Would have given it 5 had it not been for last stanza/paragraph. OK? OK.
02/12/2004 Craig Lewis (5): That's the ticket.
02/12/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Classic but strangely new. I would have guessed that Benny wrote it (given the darting and incisive forays into the actual), but then he went and commented, so now I don't know what to believe.
02/12/2004 Phony Millions (4): Good one. Don't know who it is...
02/12/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4): Yeah, cone on, Feldspar...you crazy diamond.

I actually like the final paragraph. The adjective/noun, adjective/noun construction in the first sentence feels a little too...symmetrical. Although, I don't know how it could be fixed. A lot of the information seems essential. Perhaps just removing 'tiny' and 'sharpened' would do the trick.
02/12/2004 Dylan Danko: So, does Jimson lose her prognosticative privilges as well?
02/12/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: I was just pointing out that you mispelled "come" in your comment below. I'm not in on no guessin' games.
02/12/2004 senator (4): Good stuff, I liked this line, "It occurred to me then that perhaps I had mishandled the curriculum in some important way."
02/12/2004 Will Disney: A reminder, in response to Pony, that authors can vote for themselves. I don't know who the author is, just sayin'...
02/12/2004 scoop: Yeah come should be spelled cum. For all times. It is a dream I have...
02/12/2004 scoop (3): Oh yeah, I think Snow's right strange but not funny.
02/12/2004 Texxx (3): Points for being different. The end is a little anticlimactic.
02/17/2004 Moe-Ron: Texxx, I think the point of this short, aside from trying to be funny, is that it has an inverted story arc.
10/22/2004 TheBuyer (5): It was unclear with whom.
01/19/2005 Litcube: I remember reading this when I first got into Acme, and I wasn't quite sure (hey Pony!?) what to make of it. I like it. Good imagery, good choice of stage. I think humour would have boiled to the surface had the short ended with: "it occurred to me then that perhaps I had mishandled the curriculum in some important way."
01/20/2005 John Slocum: extremely choice, exquisite first 2 ''grafs.'
07/28/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Litcube.