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“Hello, Frankie, how was school?” Mrs. Frankie was chopping scallions and didn’t turn around as the boy entered the kitchen, so she didn’t notice that his eye was black and swollen shut.

“Okay,” little Frankie said, gulping down the teary snot that dripped into the back of his throat. But Mrs. Frankie had started the blender and didn’t hear the weepy gurgle in his voice.

“That’s nice,” she said. “Did you have your session with Dr. Glansmoore?”

“Yeah,” said Little Frankie. He pulled out his bloody penis and started to cry. But Mrs. Frankie was on the phone with Mr. Glansmoore, so she didn't notice. She was telling him to be sure to cut Frankie's penis next time.

Date Written: February 06, 2004
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.6

02/13/2004 qualcomm (5): yeah
02/13/2004 scoop (5): Less Glansmoore is good Glansmoore. Glansmoore, Glansmoore, Glansmoore.
02/13/2004 senator: Is this an inside joke?
02/13/2004 throg: I definitely don't get this one.
02/13/2004 Moe-Ron: me neither
02/13/2004 qualcomm: what's not to get? let's explicate.
graf #1 -- means precisely what it says. mrs. frankie is a funny thing to call the mother of someone named frankie. especially if, as i suspect it's implied, it's not her real name, but the name that little frankie's friends, if he has any, call her.
graf #2 -- gulping down teary snot is evocative and funny. the mother's inattention is cruel and funny.
graf #3 -- glansmoore is a funny name. look up glans in the dictionary for reason. see above notes on mother's inattention.
graf #4 -- dr. glansmoore did something mean and funny to frankie's penis. also, the black eye as proof of having been to school foreshadowed a bloody penis being proof of having been to doctor glansmoore. that's funny. then, surprise, surprise, it turns out mrs. frankie, unaware that her son's penis is bloody, wants dr. glansmoore to cut his weewee for their next session.
what's not to get? jesus.
02/13/2004 Dylan Danko: Did Frankie get the black eye in school or from the good doctor?
02/13/2004 Phony Millions: Uh, Feldspar. You mean it's funny that the doctor already cut off the penis, and then you find out that she's in on some sadistic thing with the doctor? Not funny for me; kind of dark.
02/13/2004 qualcomm: one day, evans, when you don't have children, you'll understand.
02/13/2004 Mr. Pony (4): I laughed, but not the kind of laughing that I like. Rather, the kind of laughing I do when I feel a small part of me dying a whispering death. My tolerance for cruelty has just been raised. I may need to thank you in the future. Hooray. That said, the actual structure of the story is delightful. A very hesitant four stars.
02/13/2004 Moe-Ron: thanks, feldy for trying to explain where the funny was.
02/13/2004 Mr. Pony: Hi, Moe-Ron!!
02/13/2004 senator (2): I still didn't see funny.
02/14/2004 Phony Millions: Yeah you guys could be right...I'm going to wait on voiting on this one. The Glansmoore thing I would have missed; that's pretty slick.
10/2/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (2): Not a pleasure