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“Daddy, can you read me a story?”

“Sure thing Champ!”

“Read me the one about the good wizard and the evil goblins.”

“Whatever you want, Champ. But I think there’s something you need to understand.”

“What, Daddy?”

“Well, Champ, it’s about the myth of “good” and “evil”.”


“Well, Champ, it’s not so much that the wizard is “good” or the goblins “evil.” They just have conflicting and incompatible interests. The wizard’s interests clash with those of the goblins’ interests.”

“In. Ter. Ests?”

“Sure Champ. Granted, the goblins relentless pursuit of their interests at the expense of the aggregate interest threatens the kingdom’s political health. But I wouldn’t call them “evil.”


“Really. From the goblins perspective, that wizard is the one that’s evil. You see it’s all about wrestling for power and grown up stuff like that.”

“Is that why you and Mommy fight so much Daddy? Because you have nincomptipatible interests?”

“No, not at all. We fight because of you, Champ. All because of you.”

Date Written: February 15, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.5

02/25/2004 anonymous (4):
02/25/2004 anonymous (5): 100% this is Disney.
02/25/2004 Ewan Snow (5): What fun! A treat for the whole family.
02/25/2004 Will Disney: hey - i'd take the 5 stars, but if you're so sure it's disney, whey the anonymous?
02/25/2004 anonymous: 100% this is not Disney.
02/25/2004 Will Disney: did i say 'whey'? i meant 'weigh'.
02/25/2004 catfish (5): I don't comment much, but I read often. This short is very funny.
02/25/2004 scoop: 9.99% its Jimson, scoop, Feldspar, Danko, Snow, Pony, Maniacs, and -- to borrow from Matza -- Etc.
02/25/2004 qualcomm: it's so clearly scoop i don't know what
02/25/2004 Ewan Snow: Isn't it sort of tacky to guess who wrote it? Shouldn't we concentrate on the text, the text, and/or only the text!?
02/25/2004 Texxx (4): Good stuff.
02/25/2004 qualcomm: tacky, heaven forbid
02/25/2004 Ewan Snow: indeed!
02/25/2004 Moe-Ron (5): i suspect this is scooop too. i'll give it five stars anyway. but just because it reminds me of my own broken home.
02/25/2004 annebot (4): So rarely can writers pinpoint the precise moment a father mind-fucks their child. Four stars to you good sir!
02/26/2004 Mr. Pony (5): This one taught me a valuable lesson. Two, maybe.
03/4/2004 Dylan Danko (5): This one is so true.
03/11/2004 senator (5): excellent short.
03/25/2004 anonymous (1): Too easy. Parent-child relationship, familial relations.
03/30/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (3): I agree with anon-C, but I give the stars for the last line and use of the affectation: "Champ"
03/6/2005 deliciousbrains (4): Was going to go with three stars because the concept was a little too obvious, but the last line bumped it up a star.