home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


Upjohn Dillforth wandered the loamy meadows in search of whortleberries, hummocks and sedge. He crossed an icy rill that wound its way round the shaggy trunk of an Iberian musk elm and decided this would be a fine place to eat his snack of water.

He rested his back against the tree and set his wicker creel down beside him. The shepherd’s moss was spongy and warm. He opened the basket and took out his writing tablet and chalk.

“D’uh, A-E-I-O-U,” he said as he scratched the letters onto the slate tablet. He stuck his tongue out of his mouth, too, cuz he was a retard. A nineteenth century retard.

Date Written: March 30, 2002
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 3.8

03/30/2002 anonymous (5):
03/30/2002 anonymous (1):
05/14/2003 qualcomm (5): this is the greatest thing i've ever done...
02/12/2004 Texxx (4): This is pretty damn good. 'Snack of water'? Man, I feel bad for this guy.
09/6/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Oddly enough, this short is exactly as good as every other short I've ever given a four to!
09/6/2004 TheBuyer (5): mmmm....a delicious snack of water.
09/6/2004 scoop: Hey, F you.
09/6/2004 TheBuyer: Oy, F that.
09/6/2004 Mr. Pony: Yeah, F you!