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Senator, how would you respond to your critics who say you have only taken interest in the plight of the American worker to advance your presidential campaign?
“Let me tell you something. I haven’t just voted on these issues I’ve lived’em. Let me tell you a story. I remember what happened to my hometown when the mill shut down. I remember the heartache of men with no jobs. Of women raising families on scraps. I remember how bad the hookers got cut.
I understand the pain of the American people. The pain of broken pride, broken families. The pain of a cut hooker who can’t turn tricks due to the scars. I want to reinvest in the mill inside every American. I want to make sure that the hooker that resides in the mill town inside every American never has to worry about getting cut again.
If that hooker does get cut, I want her to have access to safe, public heath care. And rest assured the unemployed mill worker inside every American would face full punishment under the law for cutting a hooker.
And that mill town will open its arms to everyone regardless of race, religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation. We can’t take away the ladder of opportunity from the mill or else there will be no access to the second floor of the mill. Or no way to get food and other supplies to the people stranded there.
Now I’m for jobs, see…”
Date Written: February 20, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.375
Comments:
03/1/2004 qualcomm (4): i was about to give this three stars. that was until i re-read it and saw that it was the hooker inside the mill town inside every american.
03/1/2004 Ewan Snow (5): I think he has a real plan for dealing with cut hookers.
03/1/2004 Will Disney: yay for cuts!
03/1/2004 Mr. Pony (4): This short makes me think of secret things, especially the second floor of my inner mill.
03/1/2004 Will Disney: Sorry, Scoop, you got prematurely outed due to Jimson's re-instatement today. We're updating the reinstatement processes...
03/1/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): When I laughed it was like a mill grinding from a windmill inside me.
03/2/2004 Phony Millions (4): John Edwards eat your heart out!
03/25/2004 anonymous (1): Again, too easy. Politicians; political rhetoric/speeches.
05/24/2004 TheBuyer (4): Effing anon lowballer, how was this easy? Dick.
07/6/2004 scoop: Congragulations to John Edwards, a fucking real-life retard, for winning the vice presidential nomination to the Democratic Ticket. He thought he could, he thought he could, he thought he could and he did! Hurrah to him and all the other unimaginative, dopey mill workers everywhere, from the sultry grasslands of the deep south to the ghostly windswept plains of the mid-west, but especiually inside...
07/6/2004 Mr. Pony: I'm more than a little pissed that I got passed over.
07/6/2004 scoop: Likewise, Mr. Pony.
07/6/2004 Dylan Danko: ...your mother's dark and slippery gunny hole?
07/6/2004 Dylan Danko (5): By the way, good fucking short.
07/6/2004 scoop: My mother's slippery gunny hole is light, pure and shimmering, Danko. I think the best ticket Acme would have to offer would be a Pony/Matza ticket. The people love Pony's pretty pictures, and thus woudl be easily duped, and Matza would secure the northeastern liberals and the ever finicky Brookline vote. I had originally considered Lerpa/Snow ticket as a strong duo, but quickly realized that both candiadtes would come off as to hardline and would scare off the suburban vote. A darkhorse Jimosn/Brad ticket would be a huge success with the soccer moms/Deanites looking to channel their political electrons in to a new cause, but alas, the conutry is simply not prepared for a woamn president.
07/6/2004 Dylan Danko: How about Texxx/Airea ticket? Sorry Texxx, if you are still out there, that really was a joke.
09/19/2006 Master Bates (5):