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Micky Strunza posted the letter on his door, after carefully highlighting the funny parts. All manner of responses came from his female colleagues.

“Eeeewwww…” said Jessica Hone, “I imagine you accepted that one, huh, Mickey.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s right, Jessica, I accepted it. Sheesh, what am I, some kind of douche bag?”

Stephanie Hamburger, the office hottie, hadn’t even noticed, so Mickey made sure he brought it to her attention.

“Oh…My….Gawd! Oh…My…Gawd….” She said, whilst reading slowly, in the haughty tone that gave Mickey the big boner. Mickey laughed goofily and tried to find something witty to say.

“Pretty weird, huh? Yeah, pretty weird….I get the weird ones I guess.”

Micky stayed late. He watched Jessica leave, then Julia, then his boss, Sandy. The office appeared to be deserted. He peeled the letter from off of his door and peeked around the corner into Stephanie’s office. Her computer was on, but her bag was gone, and so was her jacket. Feeling safe, he brought the letter back into his office. He read again, while pulling Junior out of his pants.

Dear Mr. Strunza,

I met you at a writer’s conference. At one point, we even peed together. I paid you a nervous complement and then you coughed and hit your head….

What the ladies in the office did not realize is that the nervous complement was just as it sounded. He had a nice weener! Yes, yes, he did! How he longed to take it out and show it around, but no, no….oh, yes, yes….it occurred to him as he was coming, just how close submission and emission sounded….aaaahhhhhh….the congruence.

Date Written: February 22, 2004
Author: Jimson S. Sorghum
Average Vote: 3.4286

03/1/2004 qualcomm (4): yeah, but it's spelled weiner.
03/1/2004 Will Disney: which part of this is autobiographical again?
03/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Actually it's spelled wiener (i before except after c, and sounding like 'A,' etc.). But, thanks, Jon.
03/1/2004 qualcomm: thank you
03/1/2004 Jon Matza: And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles/Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
03/1/2004 Dylan Danko: um...ha!
03/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: You're welcome.
03/1/2004 Ewan Snow (4): "Yes, yes, he did!"
03/2/2004 Phony Millions (4): "At one point, we even peed together."
03/3/2004 anonymous (1):
03/4/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, look everyone! It's the dictionary definition of cowardly! Right there! Below me!
03/4/2004 scoop: I missed this one. Its, like the letter, wierd. I like it.
03/4/2004 Dylan Danko (3): I like the line "gave Mickey THE big boner" but I think the short is a little unwieldy.
03/4/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: And I think you're a dum-dum, Dylan. How's that?
03/4/2004 Dylan Danko: HEY!!! WHO WANTS TO SEE MY PENIS????
03/4/2004 Dylan Danko: Jimson, please stop hurting me. Can't you see the toll it's taking??
03/4/2004 Ewan Snow: Is the toll it's taking too unwieldy?
03/4/2004 Dylan Danko: I'm not fat! Stop calling me fat! Etc.
05/15/2004 Mr. Pony (4):
07/27/2004 TheBuyer (4): random guest/author goodness