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On the way to the vet I looked over at Wiggles. He looked weak and his fur was matted down and discolored. He let out a soft whimper and coughed up a sticky brown liquid. My eyes welled up with tears even as there was a stirring in my groin. I feared the worst.

Fortunately the vet knew just how to clean him up and the prognosis was good.

“He’ll survive, Bruce. Just don’t keep him in your ass for so long and he’ll be a happy little gerbil. Your rectum is not a Habitrail.”

It was a revelation, but somewhere deep inside, I had known this all along. Tears came to my eyes again, though now my crotch was numb.

But it didn’t matter; I couldn’t stop. Six days later, Wiggles dies and I have been empty ever since…

Date Written: March 01, 2004
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote:

Comments:
03/1/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): Poignant, yet didn't elicit said laughter.
03/1/2004 scoop (3): Too damn transgressive for its own good.
03/1/2004 Will Disney (3): okay
03/1/2004 qualcomm (3):
03/1/2004 Jon Matza (3): Habitrail was about it for assets. Italicized 'in your ass' puzzled me, though maybe it'd be different if it was my ass.