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Rick could only have meaningful conversations while he was defecating – you know, taking a shit. I know weird, right? But not as weird as you might think. In fact a surprising number of people find intimacy on… But I digress.

So there was Rick taking a serious dump. And Rick’s wife, Sheryl, holding his hand. Their relationship had been rocky of late. The kids, listless sex, fights, silences. But these “talks” were like a fecal bridge, if you will, creating a safe place where they could meet as equals.


“I’m sorry I’ve been unavailable.”

“I’m sorry I’ve nagged you about such stupid things.”


“I know you need more intimacy.”

“I know you need your space.”


“You know I still love you, no matter what.”

“Just like in the beginning.”

They kissed. Sheryl stroked Rick’s hair. Rick wiped his ass. Then he stood up and shouldered Sheryl out of the way.

“Move, cow, the game’s on.”

“At least you could flush, pig.”

Date Written: March 05, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.8333

03/9/2004 Will Disney: you know - i really like the concept of this one. plus i liked the "body" - but the end i thought felt a little bit - ERRRRRRRRRGH - tacked on.
03/9/2004 qualcomm (4): yeah
03/9/2004 Dylan Danko (4): Danko is going to stop drinking. I liked the ending.
03/9/2004 Jon Matza (4): Didn't tax my brain; amusing. i.e., this will do.
03/9/2004 anonymous (3): great idea, somewhat executed, but could have been executed with more expulsive force, more impact.
03/9/2004 anonymous: If you're going to hide behind anonymity, at least have the common decency to insult me down to my very core, if it's not too much trouble.
03/10/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): I'm trying not to picture this as actually having happened with unmentioned authors and their wives.
03/11/2004 Vampa1978 (4): I liked this one. It reminded me of the the euphoria I often feel while shitting and the subsequent post-cum disgust I feel when I'm done. It was a nice application of that concept to otherwise cliche marital problems.
03/25/2004 anonymous (1): Too easy a target. Cliched marital relations; domesticity.