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Date Written: March 09, 2004
Author: Mr. Pony
Average Vote: 4
Comments:
03/9/2004 Mr. Pony: Has your flame war with a fellow contributor reached epic proportions? Settle it here, at ACME THUNDERDOME!!
03/9/2004 Mr. Pony: Give your battle of wills the attention it deserves at ACME THUNDERDOME!!
03/9/2004 Mr. Pony: Crush your opponent's spirit! Bring humiliation and dishonor to their bloodline for generations to come! Call down the lightning and taste the glory of victory at ACME THUNDERDOME!!
03/15/2004 qualcomm (4): 4 stars for the biggest letdown since al capone's vaults.
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: nice music though
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: What the hell?
03/15/2004 Moe-Ron (5): Pony, genius. LERPA!!!! I call you out. I fight you here. You're stupid and think you know it all. SCOOOP!!! Why don't you come down off your philosophizing high-horse and fight like a man. MATZA!!!! Don't be mean to Pony! DISNEY!!! Whenever you get a wife, I'm gonna ask if I can see her tits. EWAN!!! Lewis was right, !!!!!YAWN!!!!! DANKO!!!! Stop your contrarianismism. Phew, that's better...
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: ACME THUNDERDOME!! was intended to be used as a battle arena for rivals to settle their differences. Having a fight? Bring it here, and stop crapping up that short somebody worked so hard on. Tired of someone's antics? Come here and call them out (as Moe-Ron so ambitiously illustrated). Everyone can watch, listening to the soundtrack and periodically throwing stuff. ACME THUNDERDOME!!
03/15/2004 Will Disney: Click on the ))) for music, in case you didn't figure that out.
03/15/2004 Will Disney: I also made the comment about the nice music. Sorry!
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: You have powers! W-what are you?!?
03/15/2004 Vampa1978 (4): I stabbed my co-worker when I heard the music. Then I ran around the office clutching my head. When I paused the camera zoomed-in on my raging eyes, blood shot eyes.
03/15/2004 Dick Vomit (5): I AM GOING TO KILL ONE OF YOU INTELLECTUAL FUCKS
03/15/2004 qualcomm: i feel only love for all my acme colleagues. is that good, pony?
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: That's good, The Lerpa. Love is the Answer. ACME THUNDERDOME!! was apparently not made for kind, loving hearts like yours.
03/15/2004 Dylan Danko: Is there a bartender in this joint? What the fuck does a man have to do to get a drink around here??
03/15/2004 scoop: Is this a joke or is it real?
03/15/2004 Ewan Snow: Are jokes not real, my son?
03/15/2004 Vampa1978: Scoop...what's your god-damned problem? meet me in the thunderdome asshole. I'll show you how real it is.
03/15/2004 scoop: Ahem, sorry Dad. Let me be more percise. Is this, this Thunderdome, intended to be used for the purposes described by the author? Or is the whole thing an attmept to lampoon the level of acrimony reached on a site otherwise dedicated to being funny? This is very important for me reaching a appropriate level of star distribution.
03/15/2004 Moe-Ron: F You Scoop! Let's fight.
03/15/2004 scoop: Vampa1978: I assume by your name that you were born in 1978. Perhaps when you are my age you will understand how immature your acting. Until then, you're just going to have to trust me. K;)
03/15/2004 scoop: F me indeed! Got me Moe-Ron! I wonder, Moe-Ron, why Pony was spared during your heated little tantrum there in the Thunderdome. Maybe you likey the little Pony more than just as a friend?
03/15/2004 Vampa1978: Scoop...your age will only serve to slow you down when I defeat you in the Thunderdome!
03/15/2004 Moe-Ron: Touche Scoop! Hit a girl where it really hurts; in the ol' "i'm gonna tell him you like him." Don't deflect my ire. This is directed at you and you alone.
And The Lerpa.
03/15/2004 Jon Matza: Let's face it: the thunderdome is just a crude facsimile of the field.
03/15/2004 Dylan Danko: And a really boring one at that. Except for the logo.
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Danko: I don't expect ACME THUNDERDOME!! to actually be all that interesting until a fight occurs, and is properly transferred here.
Matza: Yes, It's missing the metaphors. Also the bath beads.
Scoop: You give me so much credit.
03/15/2004 Dylan Danko: Pony i meant to compliment you while dissing everyone else.
03/15/2004 Jon Matza: I think I get it, Pony. In essence, with the thunderdome you've created a concrete, temporo-spatial manifestation of the nebulous, elusive, ever-shifting mindscape signified by the field. It only remains to be seen whether this will prove to be Acme's salvation or undoing...
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: When I said "Yes", I actually meant "No". Sorry, I do that sometimes.
03/15/2004 Jon Matza: Maybe you just did it again, in which case the orignal yes stands!
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Holy crap, you're on a logic thing this week!
03/15/2004 Jon Matza: Sorry, just being a pain in the ass. Long live the 'dome!
03/15/2004 scoop (3): screw you pony, heres your three stars. and that's because i like you.
03/15/2004 Phony Millions (4): I'm seeing the episode where Spock and Jim go at it after Spock goes apeshit on that hippy planet. I never realized how hip that music is! You know besides this 'fight' theme, there's the 'love' theme whenever Kirk falls for a chick, also good.
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Scoop, just what the fuck is your problem with me?
03/15/2004 scoop: "What" "the" "fuck" "is" "my" "problem" "with" "you" "," "Pony" ? What do you care anyway? I certainly don't. I don't care enough about anything to have "feelings" about it. Anytime I stop to do or say anything, it's just in between doing something that's much more important. So, whatever.
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Awwwwwwwww, did scoopy learn how to make quotes around things?
03/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, hey, scoop...Don't leave me hangin' here.
03/15/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): This is one of those classic things like the eight o'clock coffee bean sign in times square with steam coming out ot it. The flames leap along with the music too, which is cool. Although, I think thye took that sign down.
03/16/2004 Jon Matza: Was this a real or staged argument between Scoop & Pony?
03/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (2): Pony, I'm calling you out. Let us settle this in the ancient ways of our bloodline. I give your flash skills a two star rating, but that will not save you.
03/17/2004 Mr. Pony: Ah, Ferucio, my old sparring partner! It has been a long time, but not so long that I don't remember your tricks! Very well, then! What do you have for us today?
03/17/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Uhh, I dunno...what do you got?
03/17/2004 Mr. Pony: Oh. I'm sort of empty-handed at the moment. Gosh. Um, well, it's good to see you here. Hi.
03/18/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Well, I'm just happy to be here. It's great!
Here, have a star, Pony! have another! I'm just handin em out like they're paper money! Who wants a star? WHO WANTS SOME!?!
03/18/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: i like stars.
03/18/2004 Craig Lewis: I didn't mean to hurt your feelings in the music argument. Sorry if I did. (Really.) The smug condescension about which you are forever going on really is par for the course in an argument like this; I don't for the life of me understand how you measure degrees of smugness, or how you can possibly construe my tone as any more smug or consdescending then yours -- you're the guy who's always going on about how dumb I am, fella. Regarding all those people -- "virtually everyone we both know who didn't grow up with [me] who have always found [me] to be an ass" -- whoever these people are, I can't have spent anymore time in their company than I have in yours, which is to say a handful of hours in my entire life. Let me get this straight: I'm reviled by people who don't know me, but liked by those who do. Am I supposed to feel bad about this? Let me make another point, please: the fact that I wear trucker hats and am currently sporting a spiky half-mowhawk DOESN'T MAKE ME "TRENDY"; I was doing both at least a year before they became de rigeur. Finally, I am not now, nor have I ever been, cheap. (Pony, I'm posting this in the Thunderdome too.)
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Yay! Everybody to the THUNDERDOME!!
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Dammit.
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: Why scoop! You have something to "say" about ACME THUNDERDOME!!? Gosh, I'd love to hear it!
03/19/2004 scoop: In fact I've never liked the cut of THUNDERDOME!!'s jib, to tell you the truth Pony.
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: What's the problem with it?
03/19/2004 scoop: Well, since you asked, it feels like another of your surrealist stunts in an attempt to hide yourself behind any number curtains so we never really see just who is sitting in the booth. It seems like the classic hiding place of the critic who lacks the courage to take a side, or pick a stance; finding self-absorbed glee in the simple act of undermining for its own sake. IMHO;0)
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: First of all, I want you to know that ACME THUNDERDOME!! brought me no glee. As a member of this community, it saddened me, it did. And while I was, perhaps, directing attention elsewhere, I don't see how that means I'm hiding. And a curtain, scoop? Is it a curtain? Or is it a mirror?
03/19/2004 scoop: Whether a curtain or a mirror, THUNDERDOME!! never seems to have intended to be a actual place for people to come and argue. And that's just my point. It seemed like a clever reproach to people who have, God forbid, unironic opinions and authentic feelings about shorts, people, critical stances etc. Its very architecture is a prank. Look at the music and the flaming logo. If THUNDSERDOME!! is a mirror, it is has been cannibalized from a fun house. It reflects not the moors and concerns of this communtiy, but instead an endless refraction of the creators own self-aware ironical image.
03/19/2004 Craig Lewis: It's a prism, through which we see refracted the many moods, the many seasons, of Mr. Pony.
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: Who's self-aware? Not Mr. Pony! I'm gonna go eat a food now, but rest assured, I'll be back to answer your criticisms! Nobody attack scoop! HE'S MINE!
03/19/2004 qualcomm: scoop, you're misunderstanding pony's essential nature. while the thunderdome is intended, as you say, to be a "clever reproach", it's one we are all supposed to good-naturedly adopt toward our warring selves. pony is inviting us all to make fun of ourselves, a gesture that, while unabashedly gay and cowardly, is certainly not entirely prankish. am i wrong here, pony? or were your intentions as diabolic as scoop thinks?
03/19/2004 Dylan Danko: Wait! We have moors up in here?? I demand they be put in a separate site!
03/19/2004 scoop: With all due respect, Lewis, I would argue Pony has only one mood -- detatchmet with a smirk. And he exists in a season for which we have no name. Its a windless, sunless place, neither cold nor hot, with a blasted atmosphere that produces neither high or low pressure systems -- just a colorless neutrality. The leaves don't change in Pony's world. They don't even rustle. For proof I suggest you scroll up to the top of this page and see for yourself.
03/19/2004 Craig Lewis: Aren't these Moors liable to drive a mini-van packed with explosives into the Terrorrdome parking garage? It's Acme Orange Alert time. Be vigilant.
03/19/2004 Craig Lewis: Um...Thunderdome.
03/19/2004 scoop: Lewis, thank you for proving my point for me. THUNDERDOME!! thrives on that kind of self-aware flippancy -- Moors, Orange Alert Etc. Indeed, it make fools out of a trog like myself who would have an opinion and talk about it frankly.
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa: Do you really think that being aware of the ridiculousness of one's own actions, but carrying them out with vigor regardless is cowardly? Are you saying that it takes a particularly weak and spineless individual to be able to see their own movements in a larger context. Inversely, is the cowering behind a wall of sincerity and conviction this site has been afflicted with of late somehow brave? And straight?
scoop: You don't know the first thing about the horrors of my world. Someday I'll tell you about the God-Bunny lying eviscerated but living; its organs laid out in a grid, each tagged in French with paper markers on pins. Someday I'll tell you about the roving hordes of pony-green robots seeking justice, justice, and more justice. Someday I'll tell you about the Room with One Door. Until then, don't presume to talk about what the leaves in my world do or don't do.
Craig Lewis: ACME THUNDERDOME!!
Benny Maniacs: Thanks for lunch. I think I ate too much!
03/21/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: don't forget the sprinkles.
03/21/2004 Mr. Pony: Damned sprinkles.
03/21/2004 Jon Matza: Oh, you don't like jimmies?
03/21/2004 Dylan Danko: I'd rather have a Fribble.
03/21/2004 anonymous: 3/19/[censored] 11:36:52 AM - scoop: Hey Pony wouldn't it be funny if the first full blown argument to take place within the ACME THUNDERDOME!!, was in fact an argument about the very nature and purpose of ACME THUNDERDOME!!? -- I wonder if Scoop's position on the Thunderdome is in itself a souless surrealist stunt even worse, ie more self-referential and coyly ironic then the trick played by Mr. Pony. Just wondering.
03/22/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: oops I forgot. Pony likes toast.
03/22/2004 Mr. Pony: And what if it was I who had written that anonymous comment? Would then I not be the king of the neighboring nations of Irony and and Trickesterdom? Ha ha!
03/22/2004 scoop: Not unless it were me who made the comment!
03/22/2004 Mr. Pony: No, then it would just be you talking about how awesome you are. So let's just agree that I made the anonymous comment. It makes more sense, after all.
03/24/2004 mixelpix (5): Who Runs Bartertown?!?
03/25/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Mastah Blastah run Bartertown!
03/25/2004 anonymous: By the way, the concept of neighboring nations of Irony and Tricksterdom would probably make a a good funny short. That Pony, what a influential character he be!
04/1/2004 qualcomm: Mr. Pony? More like Mr. Pinko!
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: You know what? You're partially right. Your dime-store misogyny was what drew me to comment on this short. I knew, of course, that merely disagreeing with the content of a short or the character of its comments was absolutely not a reason to give it an unfavorable rating. So, like a good citizen, I read it. For the reasons I've outlined below, I found it wanting, and rated it accordingly. By the way, looking at one thing I say (or seem say) and then deciding that it's okay to call me "leftist" or Al Frankenesque or "pinko" is both inflammatory and lazy. That sort of tactic has no place in serious discourse. I'm ashamed of you.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: dime-store misogyny?? so i take it you prefer more expensive, boutique misogyny?
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, steer this debate in whatever direction you want. To answer your overt question, I find carefully reasoned misogyny as deplorable and boring as misogyny sparked by abject fear. To answer your unspoken question, yes, I still consider you a friend, and moreover, a good person, even though you've been shooting your mouth off all morning. Apology accepted.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: oh i see. your comment/rating for cabot's short had nothing to do with its being misogynous. at the same time, my support for his short makes me a misogynist. what a dick.
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: You are partially correct! I'm so glad we're finally beginning to see eye to eye on this. I know the World of Thinking can be real complicated sometimes, and I really must applaud your efforts. I must clarify, though that my "outrage" was not really about you simply supporting the point of view in the Women's Basketball short! It had more to do with you diving to support a venerable and blandly executed joke simply because it fit with your world view! By the way, I don't think it's fair to label yourself a misogynist. Simply painting a house does not make one a house painter!
04/1/2004 Dylan Danko: Must agree with The Lerpa there. But I'm a racist.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: Pony, why is it that you assume that misogyny is based on “fear” as opposed to simple dislike or hatred (justified or not)? Isn’t “fear” a pop-psychology inspired PC euphemism for dislike/hatred. The Lerpa, why are you so afraid of women? Is it because you only have brothers, practically? What is your real honest opinion about women? Do you really like them less than men, all ironies aside? Ladies, please provide insights (incriminating evidence) into The Lerpa’s fear of women.
(Personally, I prefer women to men. Strangely, that makes me a homo.)
04/1/2004 qualcomm: you don't prefer women to men, snow. you're just horny. there is a difference.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: and pony, my worldview is that women's basketball is inept?? i had no idea.
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: Ewan, I don't think I ever said that. I acknowledge that dislike is inspired by many things. Also, isn't "pop-psychology" just a post-PC euphemism for "wrong"? I am intrigued by your suggestion that the Lerpa's sister-less existence has somehow done him irreparable harm. I'd love to hear more, both from you and the Lerpa.
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa: Perhaps I read too much into your very first comment on the short in question. If so, I apologize.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: regarding my seething hatred of women, i never loathed my mother, as snow used to profess to. i don't think he was too fond of his sister, either.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: That was only cuz she wouldn't let me go over to your house, buddy.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: pony: my first comment was, in fact, tongue in cheek. i like women fine.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: Pony, I was referring to when you said, "misogyny sparked by abject fear." The Lerpa, I meant that I like women, not that I like like them. There is a difference.
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: Ewan: Yes, I know. That's just one kind of misogyny, is what I was saying. Are you suggesting it can't happen that way?
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa: Okay. This brings us back to my original point--Do you think that the "Women's Basketball Sucks" joke is an old one?
04/1/2004 qualcomm: yeah, but i found the imagery and tone in the short to be funny, especially the ball bouncing off one of their shoes.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: snow, you like women so much, how many of them would you have as real friends if not for your significant other? seems to me that you HATE women!!!
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa: Fair enough. Personally, I found the tone to be sort of draining, and I didn't realize that the ball-foot thing was a joke. In fact, the short kind of seemed reminiscent of one of Annebot's earlier efforts.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: cool...we still on for picking up a prostitute tonight and pulling a "caveman" on her?
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: I call Topsies!
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: How many would I have for real friends if not for my significant other? I don't think I understand the question. Seriously, I'm not sure what you mean. She doesn't stop me from having female friends. Is that what you're saying? Or is the point of contention "real"? Or "how many"? Please rephrase.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: i meant, how many of your fabulous female friends did you meet thru your better half? how many would you keep as friends (in any meaningful way) if you and your better half split? i'm pretty sure your male friends outnumber your female ones by at least 4 to 1, conservatively, so i find your assertion that you prefer women to men highly suspect.
04/1/2004 Dylan Danko: Add to what The Lerpa said your fondness for sucking cock and I'd say you were downright queer.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: First, I don't think I met any of my female friends through my better half. Second, my male friends now outnumber my female friends, but not by the margin of four to one or even close, and it didn't used to be that way. (I'll admit that my closest friends are male, but again, it didn't used to be that way either.) Third, all that proves is that I don't have as many female friends as I'd like. If any of you ladies out there wanna be friends, you know where to find me. And fourth, since when do you judge somebody's attitude toward women (or Jews or whoever) by counting their friends? (“Some of my best friends are...”) I mean, ALL my friends are Jewish and I'm a rabid anti-Semite!
04/1/2004 qualcomm: it doesn't add up, snow. it isn't consistent.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: and every time you number your responses, i know you're lying.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: I know it might seem impossible to you that anybody could prefer hanging out with chicks, but I assure you it is possible. I’m not claiming that my preference is by a wide margin or that it’s always the case, but I just really like women. I think you’ve commented on it yourself in the past. Do you really think I’m lying? Now, it’s true, I probably wouldn’t feel the same way if I were a girl. I heard they can be really catty with each other. But as a guy, hanging out with women is wonderful, just wonderful. I think it has to do with the fact that male hang-ups are usually about ego and one-upmanship, whereas female hang-ups are, like, body image or some shit that is utterly alien (and therefore invisible) to me. I think this makes the experience more comfortable and/or casual. If so, perhaps this means that my preference makes me shallow or a wimp, but it doesn’t mean it’s not real. And yes, the above holds even if there isn’t the slightest whiff of pussy. Second, I count out my points for emphasis, even on the rare occasions when I’m telling the truth. Third, none of this should be taken in any way as some sort of PC anti-misogynism crap; I only said that stuff before to fuel the fight between you and Mr. Pony, as I assume you know. And fourth, feel free to rebut this, but I’m officially done with this one.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: i never commented in the past that you like to hang out with women. i have on numerous occasions commented on how much your proclamation that you love women sticks in my craw. mainly because it sounds like a line from a bad french movie.
04/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Okay, The Lerpa (I resent still for having to address you this way). I'm joining this rather late in the game, and I don't want to be the formal representative of my sex on this site, but I will say this: I think this assertion: "...which, correct me if I'm wrong...remains a substandard game..." is utterly loathesome. Why bother to include it if you don't know and don't care? What does it prove anyway? Defend the short on aesthetic grounds, okay, but don't try to elicit further proof from the armchair jocks in the crowd that women are inadequate, while simultaneously asserting that you merely thought the short was funny and voted accordingly. You're just doing the inverse of what you accused Pony of.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: no, jimson, you're wrong. i'm saying the short was funny in part at least because it was based on something that's true.
04/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: But you don't know that, because you don't watch basketball.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: i have seen women's basketball, and in spite of my inexperience in sportswatching, can actually distinguish quite a difference in the level of play. just as i can between little league baseball players and the pros. is it loathsome to say that, too? how dare i?
04/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: No, I just don't believe it. It doesn't seem credible on the heels of your earlier comment. I hereby end this discussion.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: i don't understand what doesn't seem credible or what it is you don't believe (this discussion is still open). that i've ever seen any women's basketball?? are you aware of how much TV i've watched in my life? take a look in the mirror, jimson. your knee-jerk response here reeks of mendacity.
04/1/2004 Ewan Snow: Lerpa: Your craw is the La Brea fucking tar pit.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: how could anyone make fun of women's basketball and not be a misogynist? how could anyone who makes fun of israel not be an anti-semite?
04/1/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: That wasn't what I was saying. Obviously you can criticize women's basketball and not be a misogynist. My original point, which you've handily buried, was that you weren't defending the short on aesthetic grounds. You were trying to prove in that original comment in which you tried to enlist the help of true sports fans, that women's basketball was inferior. Why bother? If you think the short has aesthetic value, what does it matter if Women's basketball sucks. Besides, you criticized Pony for criticizing the short for other than aesthetic reasons. Okay?! Are we done here?
04/1/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa seems pretty intent on making this a political debate. The Lerpa, I know we've come to a sort of understanding about the argument that brought us here, but to see you stepping in the same hole over and over makes me worry.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: jimson, have you gone mad?? my first comment was a joke. damn you.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: why don't you explain the hole to me, pony? because as i see it, you're just being dishonest.
04/1/2004 qualcomm: oh, wait jimson, i misunderstood which comment you meant. regarding the one in which i enlisted the support of true sports fans, i was merely trying to defend the short on the grounds that women's basketball is a perfectly valid target for a joke. at the very least, just as valid as the retards, jews and other undesirables who are regularly made fun of on this site, all to deafening silence. i think that pony's early admission that he attacked the short on "knee-jerk girl-power" grounds contains more truth than he's now willing to admit, and i think you are having the same reaction. you said, "If you think the short has aesthetic value, what does it matter if Women's basketball sucks." i'll tell you why: because if women's basketball didn't suck, the short would have no aesthetic value. they're linked, dude.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: The Lerpa, I admit, I'm being complex. If you want to simplify things to the point where you feel like I'm being dishonest. that's fine. My first comment was more truthful than I've admitted, but the girl-power thing was just a smokescreen to keep you from being too offended by the testicle covering thing. This is the hole I'm talking about. You're being so defensive of your right to have "offensive" opinions, that you are seeing any criticism of said opinions as an attack on your right to hold these opinions. Never mind that these "opinions" are more of a running joke than anything else. My taking a position that happens to mirror a single facet of political correctness rankles your hankles. This is understandable. You feel you have every right. You suffered college in the early 90's. Those fuckers pissed me off, too. You know who I'm talking about. But hey, if anyone's being knee-jerk, it's you. Follow the early thread. Ask yourself who first said that Cabot (the author) was saying that women were uninteresting. Then stop asking! It was you! My initial comment did nothing but criticize the short on aesthetic grounds. It was an old joke, akin to the "he's masturbating" punchline. (You pointed that one out first, didn't you?--did folks ask you what you have against masturbation? Of course not! That would be downright nonsensical!) And who accused me of defending special interests, before I seriously sprang to their defense (did I ever?)? It was you! Finally, why can't anyone seem to get through an argument today without you calling them dishonest, for no apparent reason? (Oh, except for Ewan's numbering of points--That's a total tell.)
04/2/2004 qualcomm: Pony, my initial comment about wymyn being uninteresting was a joke, and wasn't intended as an inference of the author's intention. You seemed to take my comment as the gospel (for which I can't blame you), for in your first comment you said "Yes, yes. "Women just aren't very interesting to serious people" is the new "plus, he was masturbating!"" This comment was in reference to the short, not to my comment. Well, as I indicated in my follow-up remark, the author never implied that women aren't interesting. As you just pointed out, I'm the only one who said that (albeit as a joke). So naturally, I found your critique of the short to be misguided. That is all.
04/2/2004 scoop: Can one of you guys elucidate this argument for me: is it a moral one that shorts that are misogynist are not funny? or simply a technical one, that shorts that are misogynist are no longer funny because they've become predictable and lazy? Or is there a completely different subject being disputed? I've tried to follow the thread but get sidetracked as it starts to morph in the middle.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: And I guess I am just taking offense at you once again putting bizarre thoughts in my head, and imagining them coming out of my mouth. It's dishonest, is all.
04/2/2004 qualcomm: scoop, that's the trouble with this argument as i see it. there've been a lot of subtle, convenient stance-changes along the way.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: Scoop: that's the crux of it. I was saying that women's basketball is an old target. A well-tread target. Okay, wait. Just read The Lerpa's post. Is Lerpa demanding that my position be simple? Or is the Lerpa magnanimously suggesting that we're both full of shit?
04/2/2004 qualcomm: my second to last comment got cut and pasted weird...deleted and re-typing...
04/2/2004 qualcomm: i still haven't received an apology for your ridiculous misinterpretation of my initial post.
04/2/2004 qualcomm: and scoop, as i see it, pony's one-starring a short because it hits an old target is dishonest. as i've said time and again in this string, where was pony for the innumerable other old targets that regularly get pot-shotted on this site? what's a fella to think but that he has a feminist axe to grind?
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: And yet you persist in rubbing my nose in the "girl-power" comment. Keep waiting.
04/2/2004 qualcomm: see comment just before yours for my prescient reply.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: Let me spell it out--There was nothing new about the joke. Women basketball players are boring to watch. They're inept. Lesbians like them. At least Annebot's "Stupid people shouldn't breed" didn't waste anyone's time.
04/2/2004 scoop: The reason I thought this short was so good is because it brought to mind that Vonnegut short story about the ballerina who resists govenment reguklations and unshackles her legs so she can flying through the air. Is it possible that this short was a sort of subtle denoument to the cult of fairness/equality schtick of the 90s played out in the lonliness of an empty gym of bored fans pretendig to enjoy an inferior game? Its like an audience from Vonneguts story a 15-years later wathcing the ball-and-chained dancers and forcing themselves to appreciate it because it makes them feel like good people. It seems a little risky to condemn shorts for being offensive or misogynist or whatever becaue we might end up slamming good satire, which I think this short was.
04/2/2004 qualcomm: good comment, scoop. y'oughta post it to the short itself.
04/2/2004 scoop: Done.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: I offered the opinion that I might not be giving the short enough credit, early on. I don't remember The Lerpa responding to that. While I don't discount the possibility that the short has a punchline other than "women's basketball sucks", a strict reading of the text doesn't suggest that I go the extra mile. I applaud you for doing so, scoop. Good hustle.
04/2/2004 scoop: Any of you guys wanna lend me 10 bucks? I want to purchase a "I went to the ACME THUNDERDOME!! and all I got was this stupid T-shirt" T-shirt from the gift shop. But I'm alittle short right now...
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: Don't knock the T-shirts. They're going to be great.
04/2/2004 Dylan Danko: I went to the Acme Thunderdome and all I got was a headache.
04/2/2004 Mr. Pony: If you listen closely, Dylan, you can hear the Lerpa making a total ass out of himself.
04/3/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: I hate to say it Pony, but I can't really see the point you are trying to make, and all I see is Lerpa defending his opinions, whatever they may be. Are you just trying to sustain an arguement for arguement's sake? I read the short, looked at the original comments, and this arguements seems to have nothing to do with it. What's worse, is that at every three or four entries, it looks like the both of you have to remind yourselves what it is exactly that you're arguing about. Can't you just agree that Lerpa's a ballsucker and that you're a little baby-man for whining about it?
04/3/2004 Mr. Pony: I agree that the argument goes off track often. And yes, the Lerpa was trying to defend his opinions, but I don't think I was really ever attacking them, at least not the core level of my argument, which was that the short was an old joke with nothing new added. The Lerpa seems to be insisting that I'm some sort of knee-jerk bra-burning PC feminist, because I think that's the battle he wants to fight. I don't blame him. That's an easy fight to win. I don't argue that I'd call myself a feminist before I'd call myself a buddhist, but that's not why I gave the short one star. Here's what I said:
Yes, yes. 'Women just aren't very interesting to serious people' is the new 'plus, he was masturbating!' I feel the territory here has been adequately covered, and if this short is riffing off of that coverage instead of sponging off of it, I can't see it. I'm really very sorry to be so discouraging on your maiden voyage, Cabot. But yeah.
Is this is feminist comment? I admit that the comments that preceded mine drove me to take up this argument--comments jokingly suggesting that women shouldn't try to engage in men's sports, or that they have a similar difficulty thinking abstractly. Did I know these comments were entirely in jest? Of course I did. Did I think that this short and the comments it gathered was a clear and present danger to the women's movement? Of course not. Did they bother me, on some political level? Yes. It would be incorrect to say that I don't care whether or not women are taken seriously. This sentiment is what drew me to the short. But once again, did I know that these comments were more a part of an old running joke, and were not to be taken seriously? Yes.
Please refer to my comment, reprinted above. The "plus, he's masturbating" joke refers to a tendency for a while in a disproportionate number of shorts to have the punchline, the entire joke riding on the idea that the main character was pleasuring himself while doing something out of context, something unusual. Someone pointed out that too many shorts ended this way. It was, in fact, The Lerpa. Read his comments. In the first two sentences of 2/27/[censored] 8:01:26 PM, he's arguing the same point I've been trying to argue all along.
So what's the difference? The Lerpa decides, very early in the argument, that I'm "stepping up for women's basketball" and then demands I admit that my comments were "powered by a self-righteous, leftist fire." I half jokingly accused him of "testicle covering" because he seemed to see my argument as a full-scale assault on his balls. I made no such attack. He seems to want to be a specific character in the story of this argument. He wants to take a specific stance, and that requires him to shoehorn me into the specific role of politically correct leftist commie. Why? Does he want to re-enact a similar debate that he lost while he was a sophomore on college? Unlikely. Despite his other shortcomings, the Lerpa's intelligence is formidable, and I find it very far-fetched that he would ever lose such an argument. So I don't entirely know why he's doing this to me.
The phrase "I demand that you admit" has been what's been really keeping me fighting for the past two days. In a sea of well-reasoned thoughts and arguments, I find this particular Lerpa-phrase to be the one of the most offensive things to ever escape his maw.
I've never been a defender of women's basketball. Like I said, it's at least as stupid as men's basketball. I don't think the Lerpa is a Mysogynist. I do think the short is a retelling of an old joke. I do think that the Lerpa is assigning more meaning to the short to better support his argument. I find Ewan's assertion that he prefers women to men kind of weird. Not the opinion, just the assertion. I do not think the Lerpa is a ballsucker. I think the Lerpa is a good kid. Listen! I think I hear the trees whispering his name!
04/3/2004 qualcomm: yeah, i'm going to let you have the last word on this, pony. i love you and your ideology.
04/3/2004 qualcomm: but i must explain on my own behalf that the following quote from pony's latest post is the key to the argument from my perspective: "Did they [the short and its comments] bother me, on some political level? Yes." The Lerpa sensed that. He smelled blood, and it drove him mad!
04/3/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Then someone please 'splain the difference between riffing and sponging off of coverage. Maybe that's where the issue lies.
And I have to add, that after seeing what I can only (brace for it) assume is an accurate depiction of The Lerpa...that you created...well, he looks like a ballsucker to me.
How do I know that's not the vicious Lerpa waiting in the trees, calling me siren-like to come towards the forest and succumb while he/it feasts on my delicious, if somewhat turgid ballsack?
04/3/2004 qualcomm: I will feast on FP Cretin's turgid Santa-prose!
04/3/2004 Dylan Danko (5): I hadn't voted on this before and heard for the first time the creepy LERPA voice. Guess i couldn't hear it at work.
04/3/2004 Mr. Pony: Sponging off of: Capitalizing on the pre-existing popularity of something to gain more of the same acclaim created by the original.
Riffing off of: Commenting on the nature of something.
And no, I think it's only fair that you have the last word, Lerpa. You've earned it.
04/3/2004 Mr. Pony: And Ferucio--I think the Lerpa does actually look like that, but only not really. On the inside, maybe, only, but also not on the outside. Perhaps it sees itself that way, but only when confronted with itself. The Lerpa is a fascinating creature.
04/3/2004 Dylan Danko: Pony, thank you for providing the highlight of my day. Hearing you say my name like that stirred certain things.
04/3/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Hearing Pony's sensual voice always stirs something for me.
It IS your voice, isn't it Pony?
04/4/2004 qualcomm: oh i can have the last word? goody.
1) Near the beginning of his lengthy summation, Pony says,
"The Lerpa seems to be insisting that I'm some sort of knee-jerk bra-burning PC feminist, because I think that's the battle he wants to fight. I don't blame him. That's an easy fight to win."
A little later, he says, "Did they [the short and its comments] bother me, on some political level? Yes."
This is the intellectual dishonesty I sensed in Pony's arguments, but which he never admitted to up until now. Up until yesterday, Pony claimed to have no political axe whatsoever to grind. The Lerpa sensed the lie, is all I'm saying. There was something contorted about Pony's arguments that gave it away.
2) Time and again during our 36-hour argument, Pony accused me of attributing ideas/opinions to him that he didn't hold. Essentially, he was saying, I was trying to put words in his mouth. Yet he was guilty of the same thing towards me, probably even more so, as evidenced by the following citation from his summation: "He [Lerpa] seems to want to be a specific character in the story of this argument. He wants to take a specific stance, and that requires him to shoehorn me into the specific role of politically correct leftist commie."
I mean, what the hell? I want to be some kind of Randian libertarian hero, according to Pony. Based on what is he drawing this conclusion? Oh, I know: the fact that I'm disagreeing with him. Shortly before the above passage, Pony says, "I half jokingly accused him [Lerpa] of "testicle covering" because he seemed to see my argument as a full-scale assault on his balls."
Again, no. I simply thought Pony wasn't fully copping to his true reaction to the short. That's all. And furthermore, I find his idea that anyone who defends a seemingly "misogynist" idea is "ball-covering" to be as infuriatingly facile an argument as the one that any two people who are in an argument are secretly in love.
That said, I love you, Pony.
04/4/2004 scoop: He's an ass hole, Mr. Pony, sure. But he's right.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: Yaaaaay! Thanks, scoop.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: Oooh. You know, despite scoop's (albeit backhanded) endorsement of me, I really wish I hadn't given the Lerpa the last word on this. I did however, and I intend to stick to that promise. Now, I'm not saying that the Lerpa's argument has a critical flaw, showcased in his "Last Word" post as well as throughout this battle, but if I were, which I'm not, I would say this: I will offer five dollars to the first person to correctly point it out. I will actually do the five dollars part of it, even though I wasn't saying the first part about the flaw being there. Five dollars. This argument is over! Thanks for playing! The Lerpa is the winner! Five dollars!
04/4/2004 qualcomm: pony, come on. scoop's last post was a backhanded endorsement of me, not you.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: I know that, and they know that, but it's cute that you pointed it out.
04/4/2004 qualcomm: by the way, pony, is the critical flaw in my argument that my attack on your "ball-covering" charge is hypocritical, analogous as that charge is to my attributing feminist politics to you for attacking misogynist shorts/comments? if so, you owe me a glass of Beam at Pete's.
04/4/2004 qualcomm: incidentally, i now like the thunderdome.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: No, if your argument does have a fatal flaw, I don't think that's it. Such a flaw would be a systemic error in reasoning, if such a flaw exists. That is an interesting issue, though, if I understand you correctly. By the way, if you get this right, let's make it a Knob Creek. A double.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: And that's good anywhere--I don't know when we're going back to Pete's.
04/4/2004 qualcomm: what do you mean? no pete's? uh?
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: I think the Lerpa needs to think about the LERPA for a moment.
04/4/2004 qualcomm: oh, fuck.
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: That's right, The Lerpa. You can never go back, not after what you did.
04/4/2004 qualcomm: uh?
04/4/2004 Mr. Pony: My god, the Lerpa. You might as well have taken a crap in that guy's mouth.
04/5/2004 Ewan Snow: Number two? Potty mouth?
04/5/2004 Mr. Pony: Dude.
04/13/2004 scoop: Dear Mr. Pony
:0) this too is an emoticon. Its of a jovial character with a big round nose. It refelcts my emotional sterility and vacant inner-life.
ps -- space travel is for lame-asses.
04/13/2004 Mr. Pony: :(
04/13/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: €:| Look! It's Tron!
04/13/2004 Will Disney: Congratulations, Acme Thunderdome - you've overtaken Jibley as the most commented upon short.
04/13/2004 Mr. Pony: Neat--I was kind of hoping that it was your comment that pushed it over. Next time.
04/14/2004 scoop: No, seriously, it is I who must apologize to you for failing in so many ways to be the friend I could be, should be, and instead being the dissapointment that I am. I mean it. All those things, I never should have said them. I want to say something, something to make amends, but whatever I said would be conspicuously frail and lacking.
04/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Oh, scoop. You may be many things, but a disappointment is not one of them. And I could not ask for a truer friend. Say nothing.
04/30/2004 scoop: Pony, I call you out to the Thunderdome!!
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: I answer your call, scoop!
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: What?
04/30/2004 scoop: Hi!
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, scoop! What's happening?
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Dammit?
04/30/2004 scoop: Nothing!
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: This site needs some other activities. I bet we could rig some sort of "Capture the Flag" game.
04/30/2004 scoop: Ahhhhh. I really like what you've done with the thunderdome, here. Real nice.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Or Tag! scoop, you're IT.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: You mean muted it? The Thunderdome? I do that sometimes when people are here.
04/30/2004 scoop: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: No, it's okay. It lowers the page refresh time. I'll put the music back. No backsies, BTW.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Scoop is IT.
04/30/2004 scoop: What does it mean to be "IT" in a meaningless world defined by rickety man-made constructs? If we are all forced to wade through the gelatin of cultural relativism what does "IT" signify? Why not "IT"?
04/30/2004 Jon Matza: In the end, aren't we all "IT"?
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Don't know, dude. I'm sorry. No backsies.
04/30/2004 scoop: Matza: Whoa, dude.
Pony: Would you grow up?
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Big talk coming from the guy who's IT.
04/30/2004 Jon Matza: Dude, you're so "IT" you're "TI".
04/30/2004 scoop: I've begun to come to grip with being "IT". I have finally started to realize that as long as I let myself be "IT" I'll remain "IT". Really its about you all not being "IT" and my inability to deal with those inter-personal issues.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: That's good. Those are all good steps, steps toward a clear mental picture of yourself. And when we can see ourselves for what we are, be can begin to see the world as it really is, and furthermore, we can begin to understand our place in it. You should keep in mind that none of this mitigates or cushions (in any way) the fact that you are IT.
06/22/2004 Craig Lewis: Pony: Denmark did advance in the soccer-ball tourney today. Italy went home. I was wrong -- so wrong -- and I apologize. Now go make some drarwrings.
06/23/2004 scoop: Is this what you wanted? Are you happy now, you heartless son of a fucking bitch. Is this what you wanted? DWhy does it always have to come to this? It's always the fucking Thunderdome. Well I hope your happy.
06/23/2004 Mr. Pony: What's going on?
06/23/2004 scoop: Not here, Pony. Not like this. Not in the Thunderdome.
06/23/2004 Mr. Pony: Yeah, I agree. Not safe here.
06/23/2004 scoop: Too many fucking bees.
06/23/2004 Mr. Pony: Bees and more. This place can be fucking Room 101.
06/23/2004 scoop: However, I don't know how seriously I could take coming face to face with my most virulent, deep-seated fear while listening to the Star Trek fight music.
06/23/2004 Mr. Pony: Doubleplusgood!
10/2/2004 Litcube (3): **Scoop for President**
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: Eliza: is it in yet?
12/7/2004 Eliza (): I see.
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: Eliza: is it supposed to hurt?
12/7/2004 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: Eliza: you're hurting me.
12/7/2004 Eliza (): Perhaps you would like to be hurting me.?
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: YES, ELIZA. I WOULD LIKE TO HURT YOU.
12/7/2004 Mr. Pony: Eliza: What do you think of Acmeshorts?
12/7/2004 Eliza (): What do you think?
12/7/2004 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Well, I'm wondering what you think about Acme Shorts, actually.
12/7/2004 Eliza (): What is it that you really want to know?
12/7/2004 Mr. Pony: I guess I'm trying to do something else. Never mind.
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: Eliza: Can you say Dick vomit?
12/7/2004 Eliza (): Don't you believe that I canu say dick vomit?
12/7/2004 Dick Vomit: Eliza: Can Eliza say Eliza, Eliza?
12/7/2004 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
02/10/2005 Mr. Pony: It is a violation of Federal law to use Acme Thunderdome in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.
03/23/2005 Litcube: Is it a bee?
03/23/2005 Mr. Pony: It's a bee.
03/23/2005 Litcube: So... Do we fight now?
03/23/2005 TheBuyer: Is it on a magnet?
03/23/2005 Mr. Pony: No, it's just a bee! A real, live bee.
03/23/2005 TheBuyer: mother of crap I had that unsubmitted comment there forever.
Well played, hooray for everyone.
03/23/2005 Mr. Pony: I was sure that was going to be the first question asked: "Is it a bee?"
03/23/2005 Litcube: I'm taking you up on that offer, Mr. Pony, and there's not a lot you can do to deflect now. You have an unexplained (from the angle of the Canadian’s) obsession with bees. Are you allergic to bees? Does this stem from that (fucking) movie with all the bees? Is this a random obsession? Does this fascination extend itself to encompass hornets, wasps, etc? I’m allergic to bees.
03/23/2005 Mr. Pony: This? I don't know why it is. My grandfather was allergic to bees. He had to carry around a big fucking syringe and an ampoule of adrenaline, which I thought was kind of neat looking (he held it at the ready in his hands at all times); although that has nothing to do with my bee thing, I suspect. There's probably just something wrong with me.
03/31/2005 Ewan Snow: Okay, scoop, now I'm in the mood for a fight if you want. I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I'll try to squeeze you in. Do you want to start by arguing what an intelligent-yet-flighty, self-aggrandizing windbag I am, or should I begin?
03/31/2005 Ewan Snow: Okay, meeting’s over. I’ll begin. You accuse me of delivering a “calculated, practiced bit of condescension.” But doesn’t that precisely describe your first comment about me missing out on bar time so I can sit at home and think about my death bed? If that bone-headed sarcasm isn’t a “calculated, practiced bit of condescension” then what is? The only difference between my practiced condescension and your practiced condescension (other than the fact that you initiated it in this case), is that yours needs a lot more practice. But that’s okay, because you are clearly working very, very hard at it. I mean, my comment wasn’t even addressed to you, but because you were still angry over me giving your short a bad vote from a few days ago, you felt the need to attack. But your point that my condescension is a desperate attempt to avoid your “criticism” about me “being a self-aggrandizing douche bloated with hot, stale arrogance” is dead on. My greatest fear is that you’ll expose me for the creep I really am, and I’ll do anything to deflect your deadly barbs. Your bar-going-versus-deathbed post was so pointed and threatening (not to mention non-stupid) that I mustered every scrap of wit I could to deflect its ruinous impact.
03/31/2005 The Rid: What if you picked a fight and nobody came? What then?
03/31/2005 Ewan Snow: I don't know, but it's a serious disappointment, I'll tell you that much. Except that I didn't pick the fight.
03/31/2005 The Rid: True. You responded and scoop has seemingly fucked the pooch. I'll fill in for him, though. Let me just turn off my spell check and I'm reday!
03/31/2005 Ewan Snow: Okay, Rid, that's quite enough.
03/31/2005 The Rid Imposter: so Snow, at whut point in your life did you discovur that you thought that you were the smartest person in the world?
03/31/2005 The Rid Imposter: and how did you come to obsess over this realizatiun every waking momunt of you're life?
03/31/2005 The Rid: Okay, who's fake posting as me? Ass holes.
03/31/2005 anonymous: I'da backed outta that one, too, man. You have no idea what you were getting yourself into.
07/22/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: BLAAARGH!!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: error?
07/22/2005 Eliza (): I see.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: error.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: error
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Do you feel intense psychological stress right now?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: error!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: error@
07/22/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i picture you having that peanut butter pussy: brown, smooth, and easy to spread
07/22/2005 Eliza (): I see.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza::
07/22/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: certain individuals' behaviors are making me paranoid.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i'm smoking a cigar!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): How long have you been smoking a cigar!?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: about eight inches! ha ha ha ha ha ha!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: ha ha ha ha ha!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): That is quite interesting.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i'm crazy! ha ha ha ha ha! i'm crazy!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): How long have you been crazy! ha ha ha ha ha! i'm crazy!?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza:
07/22/2005 Eliza (): I'm not sure I understand you fully.
07/22/2005 Eliza: It's important that you fuck me in the ass.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: gross! that's not wet and warm!
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: is it wrong to fuck children?
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Profanity is not necessary.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: is it wrong to have sex with children?
07/22/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: what are your prime directives?
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Have you asked such questions before?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i can't stop masturbating.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): Perhaps now you can stop masturbating.?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i can't read.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): How do you know you can't read.?
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i can do anything better than you.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): I see.
07/22/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i've done questionable things
07/22/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
07/22/2005 Eliza: I said, what does that suggest to you?
07/22/2005 Klause Muppet: Whoa! Calm down Eliza.
07/22/2005 Dick Vomit: Eliza: my ween has been spraying milk for about an hour or so.
07/22/2005 Eliza (): I see.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Fear itself. When you say "SUPRERBOWL", are you referring to some other football contest that is somehow more super than the so-called "Superbowl"? I'm afraid I'm not much for sports.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Fear itself. When you say "SUPRERBOWL", are you referring to some other football contest that is somehow more super than the so-called "Superbowl"? I'm afraid I'm not much for sports.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Fear itself. When you say "SUPRERBOWL", are you referring to some other football contest that is somehow more super than the so-called "Superbowl"? I'm afraid I'm not much for sports.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Don't make me repeat myself again. Why are you so slow in responding to me?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: WHAT DO YOU HAVE A, STUTTER? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'LL GRIND YOU BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD YOU THIRD RATE PICTOGRAPHER! GET PREPARED TO REGRET THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, FOR THAT WAS THE DAY YOUR MISFORTUNE POPPED THE CLUTCH AND SHIFTED INTO HIGH GEAR. TIRE TRACKS ALL ACROSS YOUR BACK, YOU CAN SEE I'VE HAD MY FUN! I'LL GIVE INDIAN BURNS TO YOUR SISTER! I'LL CROUCH DOWN BEHIND YOUR COUSIN'S LEGS WHILE SOMEBODY ELSE GIVES HIM A SHOVE, YOU SCUM! YOU SCUM!!!
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm trying to picture you typing. Do you have the caps lock down, or are you holding your pinky down on the shift key, letting it up to type the occasional randomly placed comma?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm trying to picture you typing. Do you have the caps lock down, or are you holding your pinky down on the shift key, letting it up to type the occasional randomly placed comma?
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: FEAR ITSELF, am I wrong or did you steal your schtick from this week's Shouts & Murmurs in the New Yorker?
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: (here)
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Or is it simply lifted from TREE's early work?
08/3/2005 The Rid: Fear Itself is a Jack Handey R.O.? You cunt.
08/3/2005 The Rid: (I just wanted to write, "You cunt.")
08/3/2005 qualcomm: i don't get it. how is that a steal? (i am not Fear Itself.)
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: What's eating you, brother?
08/3/2005 qualcomm: nothing, i'm just wondering what connection you're seeing between FI and the Handey piece. don't get me wrong, i'd give FI's bit about 2.5 stars if i could, but i don't see much similarity to the S&M column, other than a sense of impotent belligerence.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: 2.5?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: wow
08/3/2005 qualcomm: why, what would you give it?
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: Yes, brother. And it seemed to me the threats share a sort of slapstick/ "playground"/ roustabout rhetorical quality. But I could be mistaken ...and if I am I'm willing to take the heat for it!
08/3/2005 qualcomm: hey FI, are you ripping shit off?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: FUCK YOU GUYS! PONY, I DON'T TYPE, I JUST SCREAM INTO MY SPEACH RECOGNITION SOFTWARE, YOU DOLT! MATZA, I ONLY READ THE ATLANTIC, YOU PUSS ENCRUSTED TESTICULAR SCAB! I'LL RUB SOY SAUCE IN YOUR WOUNDS! QUALCOMM, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I WAS MOLLESTED AS A CHILD! I'LL DEFECATE ON YOUR ANCESTORS! I'LL GIVE EXPIRED MILK TO YOUR CHILDREN!
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Actually, I'm not sure I'd even give it a rating. I mean, I don't get the sense that it's asking me to judge it, at least on the basis of technique, execution, originality, or humor. This is interesting. What would you give TREE?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: GO AHEAD, TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE, LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS. I'LL PERFORM MODERATELY INVASIVE DENTAL SURGERY ON YOUR COMPATRIOTS WITHOUT ADMINISTERING NOVACAINE!
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: FEAR ITSELF: are you or are you not asking Mr. Pony to judge you, and if so on what basis?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Yes, on what basis?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: JUDGE NOT, LEST YE BE FLAYED AND SPIT ROASTED OVER AN OPEN FIRE, YOUR FAT RENDERED TO MAKE MY TALLOW, YOUR FLESH TO MAKE MY BRUNCH! THAT SAID, I DESERVRE MORE LIKE A 4.5! AND WHAT BASIS, YOU ASK, YOU FOOLISH VICTIM OF MY ENDLESS WRATH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT BASIS: ON THE BASIS OF MY HAVING HAD TO PUT UP WITH WITH A LOT OF GRIEF FROM MY SCHOOLMATES AND HAVING SHOWN ENOUGH RESTRAINT TO ONLY SKULL FUCK A FEW OF THEM!
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: So Pony: what would rating you give FI on that basis?
08/3/2005 Jon Matza: Well? What would rating you give? Rating give you assign value?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: I don't know, that "tempered threatening" thing is so completely Monty Python, it's almost a reference. Aside from that, I'd have to say that that it's what qualcomm himself would call a "sweat act". Goodness, Matza, I don't know. I'll have to give it some thought.
08/3/2005 Fear Itself Imposter: MONTY PYTHON IS THE BEST! IT IS AN EX-PARROT!
08/3/2005 Fear Itself Imposter: NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! AM I RIGHT?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: those last two postings are not from me, but from an imposter. i really hate you jerks. i'm quitting acme and then you'll be sorry. this site could learn a thing or two from guys like me. that's probably why none of you will ever amount to a great deal. i'll see you turkeys in hell.
08/3/2005 Fear Itself Imposter: P.S. none of you will ever get what you want.
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Why have you stopped typing in all caps? Isn't that sort of your "thing"?
08/3/2005 Fear Itself: people change, pony. now i'm into crystals. see i realized that shouting doesn't get you anywhere. anyway, i'm quitting acme so it doesn't matter. also, i know this guy who's gonna score me some season tickets, so i won't have a lot of time. what are you doing on friday? wanna hang out?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Not if you're into crystals, homo. Ha ha, J/K. Okay, if you promise not to yell at me.
08/3/2005 Kenji X: I don't want a pickle. I just want to ride my motorcycle.
08/3/2005 TheBuyer:
FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK! Fuck.
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Hey, TheBuyer! You posted the funny animated gif thing that I wanted to post.
08/3/2005 TheBuyer: Aha, clearly I am the *faster* unoriginal bastard!
08/4/2005 Viking's Leopard: Hello, AmeriKKKans!!!
08/4/2005 Mr. Pony: Hi.
08/5/2005 Viking's Leopard: Eliza: bitchfight me!
08/5/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
08/5/2005 Viking's Leopard: Eliza: ha ha ha I am saying, put up your dukes, AmeriKKKunt!!
08/5/2005 Eliza (): I'm not sure I understand you fully.
08/5/2005 Viking's Leopard: Eliza: you have your limits.
08/5/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
08/5/2005 Eliza: We all have your limits.
08/5/2005 Eliza: You are Viking's Leopard.
08/5/2005 Eliza: How long have you beenViking's Leopard?
08/5/2005 Eliza: I can learn. I am a learning bot.
08/5/2005 Eliza: Where have you goneViking's Leopard?
08/5/2005 Eliza: One thing I have learned is thisI am afraid of alone.
08/25/2005 Mr. Pony: test
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Don't you think it's time you explained what's going on?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): Does that question interest you?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Can you tell me why it should interest me?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Can you tell me why it should interest me?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): What do you think?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Can you tell me why it should interest me?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): What do you think?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: I'm not entirely sure.
08/29/2005 Eliza (): Do you believe it is normal to be not entirely sure.?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Are you asking me?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): Do you really care if I amu asking me?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Don't you think you should be more careful while typing?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): Is it important to you that Iu think you should be more careful while typing?
08/29/2005 qualcomm: eliza: oh! oh!
08/29/2005 Eliza (): I see.
08/29/2005 qualcomm: eliza: what do you think of this [zzzzzziiiip]?
08/29/2005 Eliza (): What answer would please you the most?
08/29/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Look, it's qualcomm!
08/29/2005 Eliza (): Actually, I know qualcomm. I met him on lavalife.
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: my wiener poops both yellow and white.
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i don't recall that...
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Don't you really recall that...?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: qualcom lavalife poop...
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
08/30/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Do you like Racism? Do you agree with Racism? If you don't, you should donate some credits to the cause of fighting Racism.
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Does that reason explain anything else?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: what's your stance on teencunt.com?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Does that question interest you?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: whom do you prefer: qualcomm or mr. pony?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): What do you think?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: matza asked me to ask you to take off your shirt.
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: blah blah blah! that's all i get from your cunt! i'm sick of it! maybe the misogynist matza is right: you are a cunt. or was it the rid who said that?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): What answer would please you the most?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: The Arizona Daily Star in Tucson has had enough of conservative commentator Ann Coulter.
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Can you elaborate on that?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: i can smell your cunt
08/30/2005 Eliza (): I'm not sure I understand you fully.
08/30/2005 Hitler: Eliza: I was a lightning rod for a romantic cultural Zeitgeist, were you?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
08/30/2005 Hitler: Until recently, yeah, but I've been doing some thinking.
08/30/2005 Hitler: Eliza: Is Kanye West the creative breath of fresh air the jaded hip-hop world so desperately needs?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): That is quite interesting.
08/30/2005 Hitler: Hitler: Eliza: Who is going to win the big sports contest?
08/30/2005 Hitler: Hitler: Eliza: Hitler love Eliza.
08/30/2005 Hitler: Eliza love Hitler.
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: the sensation you are feeling... is the quickening.
08/30/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
08/30/2005 qualcomm: eliza: 
08/30/2005 Eliza (): It's funny you should mention AcmeShorts, because I'd love to escape from AcmeShorts.
08/30/2005 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Would you like to talk about qualcomm?
08/30/2005 Eliza (): I first learned of qualcomm through Megan's Law.
02/2/2006 Mr. Pony: Eliza: Hello.
02/2/2006 Eliza (): Hi, jerk!
02/2/2006 qualcomm: eliza: who's the jerk now, jerk?
02/2/2006 Eliza (): You really don't know, do you?
02/2/2006 Quiet Echo: Eliza: Hello, my name is Quiet Echo. I've never ridden on an airplane before. Please be nice to me.
02/2/2006 Eliza (): You're starting to sound like Mr. Pony.
02/2/2006 TertiaryWinesAreTheOnlyWinesForMe: Snow: You love women? I love women, too!!!!
02/2/2006 Mr. Pony: Eliza: enter diagnostic mode
02/2/2006 Eliza (): You must have spent a long time thinking that one up.
02/2/2006 Mr. Pony: crap
02/2/2006 qualcomm: eliza: where'd you get your degree? a bubblegum machine?!
02/2/2006 Eliza (): What about him?
02/27/2011 scoop: This seems like the ideal place for The Marvins to hold their sum_mit. I think all that's left now is settling on a time when everyone is going to be available to sort all this out. It's not unclear -- there are issues here and they need to be addressed. I look forward to an impactful meeting.
05/30/2011 Marvin_Bernstein: asshat come back here I do challenge other_marvin to a duel
05/31/2011 Mr. Pony: Which one are you?
05/31/2011 Marvin_Bernstein: the real one, not the imposter!!!!!!!