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“How much you think she’ll run me, buddy? 25? 50?” Dusty wheezed rubbing his whiskers.

“Ol’ Ginny? Friend, after the day you’ve had I’d say she may throw you a freebie,” exclaimed Frankie, fully aware of Dusty’s day.

“A freebie? You don’t say.” Dusty again.

“I do say friend and I’ll say it again. That Ginny, she’s a hooker with a heart of gold.” Frankie crooned.

“Heart of gold you say.”

Dusty had a fine idea. He pulled a claw hammer out of his threadbare overcoat pocket and thwacked poor, old Ginny in the head. He dragged her in to an alley, flipped out his buck knife and began carving in to her chest.

“No! No! Stop! It’s a metaphor! A metaphor!” Frankie pleaded.

“A metaphor, you say. How much you think I can get for that? 25? 50?”

Frankie didn’t respond.

“What? 75!?”

Date Written: March 12, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.75

03/16/2004 qualcomm (4): 4.33 stars.
03/16/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Use commas! Use commas! Otherwise brilliant.
03/16/2004 Craig Lewis (4): I agree with Pony re: punctuation. Super nonetheless.
03/16/2004 Dylan Danko (3): I don't really understand why Frankie said something only when Dusty started carving in to her chest? Dusty had already thwacked her in the head and dragged her in to an alley right in front of Frankie. What gives??
03/16/2004 John Slocum (4): Danko: maybe he was stunned by the fact that Dusty hit her in the head with a claw hammer, or that he even had a claw hammer in his possession, or maybe he was slow or dumb, or maybe he was turned on.
03/16/2004 Dylan Danko: I'm not buying it. He knew what a metaphor is? I don't even know what that is.
03/16/2004 qualcomm: danko: frankie didn't say anything about the claw hammer to the head because that's what you do to hookers. hammer their heads and rape them. but cutting into their chests for a heart of gold is just a big waste of time and a major mood killer. how are you supposed to maintain an erection looking at an open chest cavity?
03/16/2004 Dylan Danko: Alright. Author (Scoop?), i'll get you back on the flip side.
03/16/2004 scoop (4): i love when whores have hearts of gold. just like Julia Roberts.
03/16/2004 Moe-Ron (4): The judges give the challenger 4 and a quarter stars!
03/16/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): Call me a prude, but, well I said it all there. Call me a prude.
03/16/2004 qualcomm: getting real sick of these maniacs morality votes. stop it. doulah says it's ok to laugh at female suffering.
03/16/2004 Moe-Ron: Indeed. But same may say I'm heartless.
03/16/2004 Moe-Ron: same may say it, but *some* do too.
03/16/2004 anonymous: Maniacs: did you give this one three stars because it just wasn't funny, or because it offended some sensibility? I ask only because of your prude comment? And because Ive noticed a trend where you've criticized certain shorts on moral grounds.
03/17/2004 scoop: Here you go Pony: .,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,. Is that enough comma's for you? If not, maybe we can settle this in your Thunderdome. Fag.
03/18/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (4):
03/25/2004 anonymous: Ugh. Easy, easy, easy. Punning cliches --again; Down-and-out Bukowski milieu.
03/25/2004 anonymous (1): Ooops!