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Date Written: March 14, 2004
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 5

03/18/2004 anonymous: SAY FOLKS, THIS SHORT HAS SOUND!!
03/18/2004 Will Disney (5): let me be the first to give this 5 - bang!
03/18/2004 John Slocum (5): Absolutely stunning effort! I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy. I love the way you made the 'balls' words drift up as they faded, brilliant touch.
03/18/2004 Craig Lewis (5): Speechless. Thirty stars.
03/18/2004 Reuven Goldfarb (5):
03/18/2004 John Slocum: Author: you can now retire knowing you've conquered the world.
03/18/2004 scoop: I wonder, did author uncinch is worn leather satchel, remove at his precious signifier stones and place them in a pile to commemorate the completion of this Work?
03/18/2004 Ewan Snow (5): Lewis, stop it with the double votes, dickhead.
03/18/2004 Craig Lewis: Well said, Ewan.
03/18/2004 Jon Matza (5): You've set the new standard, author! The growth in caring chart is key.
03/18/2004 Benny Maniacs (5): This is a new era. It's called the Pony era. Anyone who gives this less than five will be ground to bone dust by The Lerpa.
03/18/2004 scoop (5): Groundbreaking? Yes. Funny? Self-evidently. Perfect? No. In such matters one must look past the bells-and-whistles and engage the "text." There are two glaring errors with this short: the use of the word "cunt" to describe Penny's competition, and the end with the spurts of jizz in Penny's face. Both errors stem from the same flaw. Author seems to be using easy shortcuts to offend the flacid moors of office culture. He's going for gaudy transgression, the quick laugh instead of keeping the tone consistent with the subject matter. I criticize because I love, and think Author is more glamorous then all the other "go-to" power-point presenters.
03/18/2004 Benny Maniacs: Maybe one of our contests could be a Power-point one on one between Pony and The Lerpa.
03/18/2004 Benny Maniacs: Cunt delighted and tantalized me. The cumshots less so, but you’re being very freidkin picky, Scoop.
03/18/2004 Craig Lewis: Scoop, you're playa hating. Not one bum note in the "short."
03/18/2004 Will Disney: yeah, scoop, that 'cunt' line is a laugh riot.
03/18/2004 Dylan Danko (5): Somewhere up there, Roy Orbison is smiling.
03/18/2004 scoop: It's cheap laughs, fellas. I'm not palya hating, just criticizing the particular game of this short. Look? See? I gave it its obligatory five stars. Just pointing out errors which I stand by. I think the "feelings chart" is exponentially funnier then writing cunt over some females face. It is smarter and I think more ofensive to these scumbags then cumming on them. In fact I think if Feldspar still wrote for this site he might even agree with me: "sick of shorts with the punchline, "He's masturbating!""
03/18/2004 anonymous: he's not supposed to be masturbating. he just drew a chart that cums is all.
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Must...disagree...strongly...with scoop. The spurts of wildly inappropriate imagery work, and are funny because the fellow who made the presentation doesn't know that they're inappropriate. The character is a socially inept and lost man who, while good at making powerpoint presentations, is only able to express himself strongly by cursing (which his mother still tells him never to do) and by using imagery from the pornography he sneaks into the house. Author--sorry for the attempted exxxposition there, but I can't stand to see scoop self-righteously picking this gem apart. Also, I feel a certain connection to the presentation creator.
03/18/2004 scoop: That's a huge pile of dung, Pony. Nobody would think drawing the word cunt and/or cumming on someone's face is appropriate. There's nothing narrow-mindedly moralistic about my criticism. My problem isn't with the cum and the language, its the context in which they're used.
03/18/2004 scoop: By the way, Author, a deep, heartfelt apology for not mindlessly fawning all over your short.
03/18/2004 Dylan Danko: Didn't mind the cum (never do) but I agree with Scoop about the Cunt thing. It wasn't funny.
03/18/2004 anonymous: i applaud your attention to the text, scoop. too often, we as wordsmiths are dazzled by these images. while i put a shitload of work into this, i don't think that it's nearly as funny as plenty of other traditional shorts, by myself and others, that have received much lower ratings. but you know, it seems a bit churlish, if you enjoyed the pulsing boner-graph, to begrudge me the cumshot. is the cumshot any cheaper than the pulsing boner-graph itself? i don't think so. i thought "cunt" was funny because it was maybe surprising after the first two pictures were merely crossed out, and because up until that point, penny's admirer doesn't seem like the swearing type. it's an uncontrollable eruption from his soul, sort of like when dr. strangelove accidentally/reflexively heils hitler. and as pony indicated, it's the first slippage of his mask of chivalry before the deluge of the last slide.
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: I guess I was saying that the context is what makes it funny to me. The unrealistic nature of the presentation didn't bother me at all. There's something inherently inept about powerpoint presentations in general, and I thought the cum shot and the abrupt use of the word "cunt" works with that somehow. Also, I'm sorry I called you self-righteous. I needed the phrase fit with the meter of my post, which, you'll notice, is written in trochaic tetrameter.
03/18/2004 scoop: Sorry. Should have been more precise it wasn't just the cum shot, it was the whole phallic imagery. When I was referring to the jizz shot I meant the whole scatological milieu. Don't get me wrong -- I think its funny. But theres two things youre doing here -- the channeling of firey emotions in to the dessicating technology of power point. The second is transgresing with the cunt/boner/jizz stuff. I think the first approach is better, and that the dirty stuff ultimately, pentultimately in fact, detracts from it.
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Okay. That make sense, and I see what you are saying. I suppose we can agree to disagree on this. Like Awesome Gentlemen.
03/18/2004 Terrence: i can't figure out how to read this story "my pretty pony!"
03/18/2004 anonymous: scoop: i think your division between "channeling fiery emotions into the dessicating technology of powerpoint" and "cunt/boner/jizz stuff" is an artificial one. the cunt-boner-jizz stuff represents fiery emotions coming from the ppt creator's twisted soul. it's more of the same, made more explicit. i mean, you have to view the presentation as one created by a social reject/lunatic. he doesn't see the jizz as dirty - to him it's love. he doesn't know much about movies, you know, but there are lots of other movies he could take you to...
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Terrence: The short kinda doesn't work in Safari, if you're using Mac OS X. Works fine in IE and Netscape, though. If you're on a Windows box, perhaps someone else can offer assistance. Oh, you tried clicking the "CLICK HERE TO LAUNCH SHORT" link, right?
03/18/2004 scoop: Fair enough, Author. Did not see it in that light upon the first couple of viewings. At the end of the day, this has to do with that time I came on my boss's face and she didn't laugh. I probably shouldn't let my own experiecne color my judgement.
03/18/2004 Terrence: oh my "pretty pony", i am logging on from a connection of a home computer silly! a lap top
03/18/2004 Benny Maniacs: Hey has anyone noticed that "The Author"'s comments are followed by Pony's comments? Has anyone seen "The Author" and Pony in the same room together? Just thinking out loud.
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: That's ridiculous. I had nothing to do with this short.
03/18/2004 qualcomm (5): this short is amazing. good work, pony. f u, scoop.
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: Dear Terrence,
If you are unsure of the operating system you are using, your best bet would be to use Netscape Navigator. If you're having trouble locating this program on your computer, you may need to download the latest version. Netscape's site will automatically detect the operating system you are using, and direct you to the appropriate downloads page. I hope this helps, and good luck!
03/18/2004 Will Disney: pony, maybe terrence is a pretend person with pretend problems?
03/18/2004 Mr. Pony: And what if he's not? Also, he makes me feel pretty, somehow, and that's worth something.
03/18/2004 Terrence: "my pony!" i Love how much you are helping me, go ON with yr bad self and rock out with yr cock out! the only thing pretend now is how i am pretending you are here with me and we are skinny dipping in donatella versace's mansion on lake como in Italia honey!
03/18/2004 annebot (5): That was so good it brought a little tear to my eye. I am so very thrilled!
03/18/2004 annebot: Dear Ted: If that bitch penny doesn't call you back, come cry on my shoulder. I am your getting over penny go to gal. -annebot
03/19/2004 Mr. Pony: Terrence: That sounds fun. Have you tried clearing your cache?
03/19/2004 Benny Maniacs: Correction: This is a new Era. This is the Era of The Lerpa.
04/27/2004 TheBuyer (5): ...i think i just shit my pants laughing at that flow-chart of "Caring"
08/28/2004 Pix (5): Jesus, I've been giving 5's all day, but this one deserves a 6!
09/1/2004 Litcube (5): ***
11/2/2004 The Rid (5): I can't say anything that hasn't already been said.
11/5/2004 TREE (5): I can see how Penny earned Ted's love but what did Tracy Peet do to deserve this
12/13/2004 Litcube: I meant to ask you, Buyer. Did it turn out that you actually did shit your pants that day, or was it just that you were thinking you shit your pants?
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: I'm repressing that memory so probably. God that was an awfully tough day.
02/2/2005 Jawbreaker (5): This must be the funniest thing I have seen on this site yet!
05/22/2005 Poop (5): Bravo!
12/9/2005 scoop: This one is still overrated.
12/9/2005 Mr. Pony: It wouldn't be if the only dissenting opinion hadn't given it a mindless, fawning five.
12/9/2005 scoop: Yeah, you're right Pony. That annebot bitch was a real sycophant.
12/9/2005 Mr. Pony: Whatever happened to Annebot, anyway?
12/10/2005 Will Disney: let's track her down!
10/19/2011 Ewan Snow: Shit this is funny.