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‘Tired...tired...so very tired. Need to sleep. But I won’t, I won’t let sleep take me. If I fall asleep, I’ll die, bleed to death. Don’t give in; don’t...give...in...’

“Honey, please get off the floor and come back to bed,’ said Daphnae, her back and head supported by 3 fluffy throw pillows. She possessed a deep, volcanic passion, unrequited for some time. “Sweetie, you’ve saved yourself by gnawing your hand off at the wrist, it’s time to return to base for medical treatment,” she said trying a different tactic. She was nearing 40 yet her skin was smooth and her bosom heaved beneath silk pajamas. At times like this, she regretted marrying the Colonel, 30 years her senior. His dementia was more than she could handle.

‘Keep...eyes...open, keep moving. Got to...keep...moving…’

A car drove past blasting ‘Toxic’ and through the open window the throbbing bass got her hips moving. She opened her legs to let the haunting, echoing surf guitar line lap at her moistening orchid. Suddenly she longed for Danko. In the misty reaches of her fantasy-imagination she saw him silhouetted by the moonlight atop the ramparts of Balmoral. As she parted her nether lips Daphnae moved Danko’s sporran aside and ran her hands up underneath his kilt.

‘Tighten...tourniquet...must...stop the bleeding...’

Date Written: April 11, 2004
Author: John Slocum
Average Vote: 4

04/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: it's...kinda...funny. I don't know enough about the Danko to really judge.
04/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Who am I kidding?
04/16/2004 Will Disney: not a big surprise her passion is unrequited
04/16/2004 Maxwell Demon (4): I like that song too.
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko (4): Yeah, i mean, who in his/her right mind wouldn't dig that song? Anyone????
04/16/2004 qualcomm: yeah, Toxic is real haunting. LEWIS.
04/16/2004 Pfineous: Toxic is a great pop song.
04/16/2004 anonymous: Hitler was a great Nazi.
04/16/2004 qualcomm: but you said labels like "guitar rock" and "pop" are useless, lewis. yet here, your use of "pop" sounds like a qualification. sort of like hitler is a great nazi, yes.
04/16/2004 Jon Matza: 3.5 + 1/2 for Danko's sporran. Tip: harmful toxins can be effectively wiped out with Dr. Stanley Burroughs' "Master Cleanser" 10 day maple syrup-lemonade fast.
04/16/2004 Pfineous: Huh? I'm the only one who used the term "pop," are you suggesting I'm Lewis? Who's Lewis anyway? Forget the qualification, 'Toxic' is a great song that happens to be pop and by an artist who sucks and isn't that attractive, as far as pop artist go.
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko: Man that was so easy. Kudos to me!
04/16/2004 Jumperoo: Who is Pfineous?
04/16/2004 qualcomm: slocum, i'll wager, if he's not in fact lewis. obviously someone in that cabal.
04/16/2004 qualcomm: (toxic sucks)
04/16/2004 Billy: Who is Jumperoo?
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko: Slocum is the author of the short.
04/16/2004 qualcomm: what, did you all agree Toxic was great while watching Shaolin Soccer?
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko: Stop being so Lerpooshy and admit defeat.
04/16/2004 Jon Matza: Don't Butterscotch, Benjamin or Linus have anything to add to this debate?
04/16/2004 Jumperoo: I believe I speak for all of them. Except Butterscotch. Fuck Butterscotch.
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko: What about Seamus?
04/16/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Wow, it's like someone's been around here with the new identity stick.
04/16/2004 qualcomm: seamus, that's the dog, was outside.
04/16/2004 Dylan Danko: No, these are all cats. Seamus was not allowed out but I think the others were.
04/16/2004 Splinters: I wanna kick some ass!!
04/16/2004 Puk: Splinters: go back inside, I need to talk to Billy even though I'm dead. Matza: you forgot to vote. And who the fuck is Jumperoo?
04/16/2004 Puk: Splinters: get inside, I want to speak frankly to Billy even though I'm dead. And who is Jumperoo?
04/21/2004 Craig Lewis: I'm not Pfineous. "Toxic" is great. (Kimchee agrees with me.)
04/22/2004 Splinters: Hey Puk, you're a half blind faggot! Kimchee can lick my fucking asshole, you fucking slanty eyed cunt!
04/23/2004 Pfineous: Whoa Splinters. There's no call for that kind of language and rhetoric.