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Much humor can be gleaned from the anecdote I am about to relate to you which pertains to a conversation that took place between a horse and a cow. No doubt many of my readers will raise the objection that "such a linguistic exchange between two such different species is impossible, and consequently I fear it will be difficult for me to garner substantial or ample enjoyment from this yarn." You needn't worry, however--folkloric conventions presuppose that such standards of realism may be relaxed in the context of a humorous or ribald story or fable such as this one! Having cleared up this issue we may sally forth, then--for there is no reason to further postpone the reader's merriment.

It would seem then that both creatures lived on the land of one Farmer Jenkins. One fine spring morning the two animals were surprised by peculiar sounds emanating from the farmhouse.

In light of these facts, the horse addressed the cow, saying, "I feel unsettled by those strange sounds. Do you suppose everything is all right in there?"

With very little hesitation the cow formulated the following reply to the horse's query: "From the sound of things I should say so! Now that spring is here, it is time for Farmer Jenkins, who owns this farm, not only to scatter seed in his fields (whether corn, wheat, tobacco or other crops), but also to attend to the tilling and irrigation of his wife's "fertile crescent" lest her womb lie fallow for the season and yield no harvest (i.e., babies) before wintertime (unless one counts the blood and nutrient-filled cells lining the walls of the uterus that are sloughed off during menstruation)!!"

Date Written: April 14, 2004
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.11111

04/21/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): I love the smell of fertility in the morning.
04/21/2004 John Slocum (4): Thank you for this merriment!
04/21/2004 Ewan Snow (4): Much humor was gleaned indeed! I wish the style had been a little less informal, however.
04/21/2004 Tiddlycove (5): A pleasantly pastoral rendering of farmer-boinking. The reader did, indeed, experience considerable merriment.
04/21/2004 qualcomm: this one's a close call for me. 3 or 4. it's all form, no content. good form though.
04/21/2004 Mr. Pony (4): The Lerpa is right. Furthermore, I found it relaxing.
04/21/2004 Mr. Pony: Dammit! That was supposed to be a five!
04/21/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Yup.
04/21/2004 Will Disney: i.e. babies - oh, right BABIES!
04/21/2004 scoop (4): Come on, The Lerpa, "nutrient-filled cells" are delicious. Informal follows infunction.
04/21/2004 TheBuyer (4): tHE COW TALKED.
04/21/2004 Vampa1978 (4): Nicely done. Animal Farm is wack compared to this isht. Word.
04/21/2004 Vampa1978: Peace to the Nation of Islam.
04/26/2004 senator: What this book presupposes is that: Maybe he didn't?
10/22/2008 Jon Matza: Come again?