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Tacking yarward, the Count of Monte Cristo drew up alongside the merchant vessel in his brand new sloop with custom winches.

“I say,” declared Dantes, “Do you have any more of that excellent opium from Malta?”

The smuggler grinned, his teeth gleaming in the wan Caspian sun, “We have both the Maltese varietal, as well as a new shipment from the Turks & Caicos, which is leeward of these fucking warm Atlantic currents.”

The smuggler laid out six plastic vials full of the richly scented dream paste.

“Dude,” asked the Count, “How much for all of them?”

Date Written: August 20, 2002
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 3.7

08/20/2002 anonymous (2):
05/7/2004 Mr. Pony: This seems to have been a very popular joke!
05/7/2004 qualcomm: which one?
05/7/2004 Mr. Pony: The bit where a literary or historical character uses inappropriately contemporary language!
05/7/2004 qualcomm: yes.
05/7/2004 Mr. Pony: It's a funny joke!
05/7/2004 John Slocum (4): this funny!
05/7/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): Funny but kind of old school acme. It's good to know we've entered what I like to call "The New School of Acme". I really really like calling things things.
05/7/2004 scoop (4): "...which is leeward of these fucking warm Atlantic currents.” Great fucking line.
05/25/2005 The Rid (4.5): Nice.