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Tobias let the letter flutter to the floor. He unbuttoned his oxford shirt, draped it over his desk chair and slumped on to his unmade bed with a sigh. A strange rumble churned in his stomach. How could she! Tobias lathered up his hairy belly with aloe enriched shaving cream and began to run his razor along the grain of the thick, black hair.

When he finished, he balmed his freshly shaven paunch with an osmoregulative cytoplasmic solution and padded to the fridge. He pulled out three sections of choice 16 oz. strip steak marbled with rich layers of fat, tore open the butcher’s paper and laid them on his heaving belly.
It was feeding time.

He was lost in thought as his digestive system secreted acids to liquefy the steaks in preparation for consumption. He remembered love. When it was new. How it soared. Poor Tobias always binged when he was depressed. And Vera’s “Dear John” letter had given him a bad case of the blues.

In the beginning, there were long walks in the park, the electricity of stolen touches, rambling phone conversatons till dawn pregnant with hidden meaning. Their love thrived in a medium of equal concentration – it flowed from one membrane to the other. But lately, Vera hadn’t returned his calls, she had “plans” with her friends. It was like their romance had been placed into a concentrated sugar solution. Their passion shrunk. They pulled away form one another. The feelings flowed in one direction. Their love had been plasmolyzed.

The steaks, reduced to a bubbling pool on his belly, had completely liquefied to their gradient parts. Tobias looked at it. Just like love he thought, as he absorbed the sludge into his gut. His torso undulated as he began the long painful process of osmosis. Would Tobias ever love again? He pulled the blinds closed and cried.

Oh cruel, cruel world! Wicked fate! To know love, and have slip away! It is better to never have loved at all! Oh Vera, Vera! Why, why?

Date Written: April 26, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3.875

04/30/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): I can see what you love about this captivating subject, author. Can he digest doritos in this manner as well?
04/30/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): Mr. Maniacs will you please explain to me what is going on in this short? I'll give it stars and everything. Is Tobias BrundleFly?
04/30/2004 Benny Maniacs: The dude is digesting steaks on his belly.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: The digestion thing is amazing, but I don't like the correlation drawn between their love and the digestion. I'm not sure, but it kind of feels like the most superhumanly forced metaphor in the history of mankind, maybe.
04/30/2004 anonymous: He's drawing the corelation, not me.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: Tobias?
04/30/2004 anonymous: Yeah.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony: ...Boy, I don't know. Either way, it's such a stretch that it lays bare the artifice. One side has been tampered with to balance the equation, and I'm worried it's the exodigestion. Which I love so much I'm tempted to give it a five anyway. Somebody else talk now.
04/30/2004 TheBuyer (3): I'm torn between my love of disgusting fat people and their eating habits and my hatred for breakup narrative...threeish
04/30/2004 Not Lisa (4):
04/30/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Rats. I gave four stars, and it's not BrundleFly. Oh well.
04/30/2004 Mr. Pony (4):
04/30/2004 Jon Matza (4): That second par is 'loin.
04/30/2004 qualcomm (4): where do you get your ideas?
05/1/2004 Mr. Pony: By any chance, is this Tobias Lerpa we're talking about here?
05/1/2004 scoop: Mr. Pony: Tobias is anyone whose ever felt loss and pined for happiness. He's universal, an everyman if you will. Everyman who longs for love in a cold world, who yearns for companionship, a tender show of affection, a smile. And who eats through osmosis.
05/1/2004 Phony Millions: 'gradient parts'!
05/2/2004 Vampa1978 (4): If only I knew what the content of that letter was...
05/4/2004 anonymous: So long Tobias! I'll miss you!