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Bentley rested his hand on the hood of the Mercedes Benz C-class. It was still warm, like a catcher's mitt. Had he driven it here? He couldn’t remember. What’s more, he wasn't really sure where here was.
"Hello?" He called. "Anybody here?"
“Hellooooo?” Bentley felt jack-asinine, just standing there like that, yelling.
Maybe the owner had gone off hunting. Maybe he had gone croc' hunting. Bentley took in the items around him: a tool-bench, some old bikes, a couple of old windows. It looked like a large tool shed of some sort with a Mercedes somehow stuck inside it. How did it get in here? It was expensive looking. It must belong to someone. This place must belong to someone. And by the looks of it, that someone wasn’t too long gone. He listened. He thought he heard footsteps.
"Hello?", he said desperately, but somehow with courage. Suddenly, a large door behind him slid up on noisy rollers. Bentley swung around, ready for anything. But lo! The figure before him was none other than his mom, the driveway stretching out behind her.
"What the hell are you doing?” Bentley’s Mom asked, stepping in, accidentally spilling his bong water all over the garage floor.
Date Written: April 30, 2004Comments:
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 3.8889
05/5/2004 TheBuyer (4): Like a catcher's mitt. I'm fucking THERE.
05/5/2004 Will Disney (3):
05/5/2004 Jon Matza (4): This guy is so busted. Liked it a lot once I figured out what (how little) was going on. Nice deadpan tone.
05/5/2004 scoop (4): Yeah, Matza, in that spirit this line is particularly un-moving. "Bentley swung around, ready for anything." I read this short in an early-90s-slacker incarnation of Rod Serling vocie high on gonja weed and nihilism and it started to grow like a chia-pet in my pre-fabricated imagination.
05/5/2004 qualcomm (4): how did you convince Bentley to appear in your short?
05/5/2004 anonymous: God dammit I have to figure out how to make links. I haven't thought about that man since I was stealing my parents stash of soft-batch cookies.
05/5/2004 scoop: Man, can you imagine waking up from a deep sleep to see that Bentley fucker whetting knives over your gagged face. Holy crap.
05/5/2004 qualcomm: one time i awoke from a deep sleep to find bentley giving me the old 'sloppy bunker treatment' (aka 'shmackums')
05/5/2004 scoop: "Acme Sloppy Bunker Treatment Dome" -- musical suggestions?
05/5/2004 qualcomm: author is quite fond of catcher's mitts, isn't he?
05/5/2004 TheBuyer: scoop: Lowrider - War except midi or Musak version
05/5/2004 Ewan Snow (4): Good one.
05/5/2004 John Slocum (4): Yes, agreed, good one.
05/5/2004 anonymous (1): Totally busted on the catcher's mitt. My how unvast is the Author's subconscious. The Lerpa's hawk eyes are kind of uncannily fucking insane.
05/5/2004 Phony Millions: The Lerpa makes me doubt everything! I've lost my voting faculty for now. I did like the gag - a touch of the surreal, like if the Rugrats were pothead teens.
05/6/2004 Maxwell Demon (4): liked it
05/6/2004 Not Lisa (4):