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All right, what’s the situation?

Well Mr. President, the only man left in the field is General Brigg. He’s in bad shape but he’s our last hope.

You mean Old Charlie?

Yes, Mr. President. And Mr. President?


It doesn’t look like he going to make it, sir.

Patch me through. Chuck, you there bud?

Yes Mr. President.

How you holding up pal?

They really got my pecker in a vice here, they really got my tit in a ringer.

Don’t you quit on me now, you son of a bitch. Remember the old play, the one in the big game when we’re down by two with time running out? I need you to come through for me here. I want you to dig down deep and do what you do, and do it hard. We’ll go on three. Ok?

You got it Mr. President.



Wait Mr. President. Are we talking about the football game or the basketball game?

Well, Charlie we were down by two, what do you think I’m talking about?

Well, at the homecoming game we were down by two and we went for the 60-yard field goal, remember?

Yeah, all right Charlie whatever you want. We’re going for the field goal for the win.

But Mr. President, I was the quarterback in the game. I’m a really bad kicker.

Fine. Then we’ll run high the pick and roll and we’ll shoot the three-pointer.

But I just set the pick in that play, Mr. President. You were the one who made the shot.

How about this. Remember that cheerleader, back at the frat.


The one we buried?

Yeah. Yeah! Hey now! That’s something I can work with!

Date Written: May 04, 2004
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.3

05/7/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): I thought it was a beaut until the cheerleader. Still very high quality stuff though.
05/7/2004 senator (5): good stuff.
05/7/2004 Not Lisa (5): Good. Laugh out loud. However, 1/2 star off for using "frat".
05/7/2004 Ewan Snow (5): I agree with the anti-lisa.
05/7/2004 Will Disney (4): yeah this is good stuff. i like the format.
05/7/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Benny's right. You had a good thing going, and then you had to go and knock some teeth out.
05/7/2004 Mr. Joshua (4): Great Short....methinks it's the Lerp-Dog, based on the usage of "buried". ****1/2
05/8/2004 Moe-Ron (4): I will vote a solid four because i agree with Benny about the coda.
05/9/2004 Phony Millions (4): Funny - the coda turned it around for me; if it wasn't for that, it would have been too tepid - good stuff in kind of a Tom Wolfe-caricature kind of way. The thing is, the more friendly satire doesn't work with Bush because...HE'S FUCKING UP THE WORLD. You need to show what an evil fucker he is, and Scoop's last cheerleader bit did that, in a funny way.
07/2/2004 TheBuyer (4): hi scoop.