AcmeShorts

Where the availability of warm, wet holes capable of accommodating an adult penis is concerned, women outnumber men by a factor of 1.5. It's like a fucking monopoly on batter bins. Now you think about that because that's a scientific fact. It's proven.

I'm just saying.
Date Written: May 28, 2004
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 3.2857
Comments:
06/2/2004 Will Disney: the factor of 1.5 represents some solid math.
06/2/2004 John Slocum (2): What about an adolescent, or pre-teen penis, or an infant penis for that matter. What do you have against them?
06/2/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): This one put me in a good mood, because it made me feel better about my own work.
06/2/2004 anonymous: guess there's no room on acme for hard-hitting opinion pieces like this.
06/2/2004 Ewan Snow: Opinion? I thought you said it was "fact".
06/2/2004 anonymous: that's your opinion
06/2/2004 annebot (3): is that with anus or sans anus? I need to know.
06/2/2004 Mr. Joshua (4): I'll help you out with a 4, the Lerpa.
06/2/2004 Mr. Joshua: Also, you could argue, depending on perspective, that the factor is only 1.33
06/2/2004 Mr. Pony: I find it interesting that you would choose to omit knife wounds from your calculations. Please explain.
06/2/2004 Will Disney: annebot, check the math, it's a factor of 1.5 which means presumably it's 3 : 2. vadge/anus/mouth versus anus/mouth (sans vadge) = 1.5.
06/2/2004 Jon Matza: This is the most damning argument yet against gay marriage.
06/2/2004 TheBuyer (4): for title and last line
06/2/2004 TheBuyer: that looked like three as econd ago
06/2/2004 anonymous: yes!
06/2/2004 Mr. Pony: I think it would be pretty funny for all concerned if someone did a search for "compelling argument against gay marriage" or "no gay marriage" or "gay marriage is wrong" or "gay marriage should be banned" or "gay marriage constitutional amendment" and got to this page.
06/2/2004 annebot: you dudes sound like my husband, "oh come on, just give me a little butt lovin'"
06/2/2004 Ewan Snow: husband?
06/2/2004 Phony Millions (4): Oops! Hey, we're all just somebody else's orifice, and I think that's the bottom line with this short. I found it refreshing and very gay friendly in a nice politically incorrect kind of way. I like the brevity; I'm pretty close to a five but not quite there.
06/3/2004 scoop (3): I expect more out of your holes than this, The Lerpa.