AcmeShorts

I love free food from the subway! Here’s my journal:

MONDAY

Found a container of chicken wings under the seat on the 1 train. There was tons of meat still on the bones! Mild sauce. Very good.

TUESDAY

Woman gave me her tuna sandwich. Not great.

WEDNESDAY

Fries!

THURSDAY

Got beat up today. Ouch!

Also: bubblegum, peanuts.
Date Written: July 26, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.6364
Comments:
07/29/2004 scoop: I fucking hate this. A lot. But I went on a rampage a couple weeks ago and may have hurt the inncoent. So before I vote on this I'm going to listen to the hearty debate sure to come and perhaps it will change my mind. But man I really fucking hate this. It's innocent tone seems so fraudulent and ick, fuck it.
07/29/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan (4): the "also" at the end is nice. I feel this captures the borderline crazies pretty nicely.
07/29/2004 Mr. Pony: Two very different opinions! How you you feel, folks?
07/29/2004 qualcomm: don't hate it, don't really like it.
07/29/2004 John Slocum: agree with scoop and, since I don't have time to think for myself, am awaiting other people's ideas of which I can take cognitive ownership.
07/29/2004 Moe-Ron: i think this tripe is Pony.
07/29/2004 Mr. Pony: Because I'll eat "anything"?
07/29/2004 Mr. Pony: Including tripe, incidentally.
07/29/2004 Moe-Ron: Yes! and also that you love all that meat that people leave on chicken bones.
07/29/2004 qualcomm: i'm'a say it's disney.
07/29/2004 Mr. Pony: Would I really have framed it in such an out-of-the-ordinary way, though?
07/29/2004 Moe-Ron: Pony, I'll leave that for you to decide. You know you best.
07/29/2004 Mr. Pony: Dammit, Moe!
07/29/2004 TheBuyer: Disney shorts never hit me right away but are so damn funny three or four weeks after the fact and I always get voters remorse for making scoop-like diatribe hater comments. I love that he's bitching about the tuna sandwich after sucking the bones of discarded chicken wings. 5 stars.
07/29/2004 TheBuyer: Wait, did Mr. Pony write this Disney short?
07/29/2004 Dylan Danko (3): What the fuck happened to Friday? Also, why aren't people voting if they hate it so much? What a load of douches.
07/29/2004 scoop (2): Because I was waiting for you, Danko, ye of great power and influence, to go first.
07/29/2004 TheBuyer (4): Yarg! Horseshit! 5 stars!
07/29/2004 TheBuyer: shit.
07/29/2004 Ewan Snow (3): I really love this short, but feel it would be unfair to author to encourage this sort of behavior.
07/29/2004 John Slocum (4): 4 cognitive ownerships. Laughed at the pure banality of it the third time through.
07/29/2004 scoop: I guess I will have to shoulder this burden, as I do with so many things in my fiercely independent life, on my own.
07/29/2004 qualcomm (3):
07/29/2004 scoop: Like I said, by myself. A lonely drifter drifting down a lonely road named after something lonely no doubt.
07/29/2004 Litcube (5): Awesome. This is refreshing after so much look-at-me-I-can-write-so-fancy-so-this-is-funny.
07/29/2004 scoop: I'm really sorry about all those mean-spirited, offensive refernces to retardation I made in the past, Litcube. I had no idea you actually were a retard.
07/29/2004 TheBuyer: Litcube: check out Disney's other shorts, they're funny as hell.
07/29/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): I find the references to retarded people offensive. I myself have a mild case of Downs Syndrome, and let me tell you: it hasn't been any swim in the pool.
07/30/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: Being half-retarded myself, I feel your pain.
07/30/2004 Litcube: Scoop for President!
07/30/2004 scoop: Looks like I have secured the retard vote!
07/30/2004 Litcube: Nyghay Thkoob! Noohgrah fo' thkoob!
07/30/2004 The Finch: Despite any evidence to the contrary, scoop and Litcube are two distinct individuals.
signed,
The Finch
07/30/2004 scoop: Whatever, Finch. When I found out who you are, friend or no, a collective or an individual, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. I can do it too. My muscles are expanding every day.
07/30/2004 qualcomm: it's true, finch; i just called scoop on the phone and he was winded, clearly having been interrupted from yet another session of the burmese ritual of lifting heavy weights above his smelly, burmese chest.
07/30/2004 scoop: It's not weights, you tool. Its two handmade ornate lacquerware ceramic pots crammed with pythons and fastened to a bowed length of bamboo. And my chest is as odorless as the latest issue of dwell ass hole.
07/30/2004 Litcube: Scoop, I think you have some anger issues. The first step is to talk about them, sweety. I'm here for you. Sweety? We should talk.
02/28/2005 Mr. Pony: I thought at first that it was Litcube who had changed, but I think we all have. I think I have changed, as well. All of us have changed. Not a lot, though, I guess.
02/28/2005 Mr. Pony (4): I am torn on this, but I think that this short, like many of Disney's, actually benefits from being a totally fucking stupid waste of everyone's time.
05/10/2005 Litcube: "benefits from being a totally fucking stupid waste of everyone's time." Holy fuck, I just laughed hard for ten seconds.
05/10/2005 Litcube: How have I changed?
05/10/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, for starters, you've stopped constantly tormenting poor scoop.
05/10/2005 Litcube: How do you know? No I haven't. I mean, how do you know?
05/10/2005 Litcube: I honestly thought he'd make a good president.
05/10/2005 Pushups (5): Haven't you ever heard of a goddamned lat pulldown??!?