AcmeShorts

- I'm training for the marathon.

- OH! Good for you!

- Hey, shut the fuck up, you stupid asshole.
Date Written: October 1, 2004
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 2.4
Comments:
10/7/2004 Ewan Snow: good idea, but it don't add up to a short, sadly...
10/7/2004 qualcomm: yup
10/7/2004 TheBuyer: Why does everything have to be so racist?
10/7/2004 Dylan Danko: I'm so tempted to pull an OSS on this one.
10/7/2004 qualcomm: what does that mean?
10/7/2004 TheBuyer (2):
10/7/2004 Litcube (2): I thought this was splendid.
10/7/2004 John Slocum (2): Extra one for brevity!
10/7/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey author, are there two people here, or three?
10/7/2004 qualcomm: actually, just one.
10/7/2004 anonymous: i have no regrets
10/7/2004 Litcube: Wow. This was pooped right off the home page. Pooped it. Right of the home page. Right off it. Pooped.
10/7/2004 Jon Matza: This is what your latest cruelty has wrought, Disney. Not that it wasn't a successful move, assuming tarnish is the same as lustre.
10/7/2004 anonymous: i regret nothing.
10/7/2004 anonymous: I regret reading this.
10/7/2004 scoop: I regret not smelling on a day to day basis the various fragrances life produces frequently.
10/7/2004 TheBuyer: I regret french-kissing Thea in the tenth grade and then telling everyone we 'did fellatio' because I thought that's what fellatio was; it's not.
10/7/2004 Will Disney (3): it's 2.5 stars okay
10/7/2004 anonymous: yeah! marathon short: back in the action!
10/7/2004 Yahzick: I remember Thea. She had a car for a last name, right? Like Thea Sedan de Ville or soemthing?
10/7/2004 qualcomm: you didn't know what fellatio was in tenth grade, buyer?
10/7/2004 TheBuyer: No, I knew what a blowjob was but didn't know the word 'fellatio'. I also found the terms, 'head' 'hummer' and 'necking' confusing.
10/7/2004 anonymous: Is the third person directing his/her comment to runner/runneress or approval person?
10/7/2004 anonymous: there are only two people in the short.
10/7/2004 Mr. Pony (3): I dunno, I thought the joke expressed here was kinda funny, for what it was.
10/8/2004 Dylan Danko: what's the joke here?
10/8/2004 scoop: I think if you look carefully, Danko, you'll find the joke is squeeed between your legs. Boo-ya!
10/8/2004 Jon Matza: Any closing words, author?
10/8/2004 Dylan Danko: That's no joke. That's your wife! (sit down)
10/8/2004 scoop: No dude. She's at work in the borough of Manhattan. I think that's my mom you're talking about.
10/8/2004 Dylan Danko: I'm also at work in the borough of Manhattan. Hmm. Your mother works all five.
10/8/2004 qualcomm: dylan, you really don't get the joke? don't you remember i showed you this short while it was still in the queue last weekend? don't you remember further what spurred me to show it to you? i mentioned that jimson had run a triathalon, and you said, "Good for her." that's all the joke is: i've noticed this phenomenon where people tend to say that when they hear someone's running a marathon.
10/8/2004 Dylan Danko: Yes I actually got the joke but I'm not sure other people did.
10/8/2004 John Slocum: not a very hilarious phenomenon.
10/8/2004 qualcomm: i think i could have handled it better, but i was feeling lazy. still, i think you would laugh if you heard someone responding to a marathon "good for you" like this. that's what you have to do with my shorts: imagine it's actually happening!
10/8/2004 John Slocum: Ladies, we are all currently inside Ol' Summer's id. Fascinating.
10/8/2004 John Slocum: It's pink in here, and sort of wet. Wow, it sure stinks!
10/8/2004 Dylan Danko: vaginosis?
10/8/2004 Jon Matza: Your premise was betrayed by your punchline, 'ther.
10/8/2004 qualcomm: what would have been a better punchline, then? maybe, "Stop trying to get in on it."?
10/8/2004 Jon Matza: (only since you asked)...I think just a slight alteration could've Mike 'n Ike'd the joke, e.g., "What's so good about it, you fucking stupid asshole?" or "what the fuck is that supposed to mean, you stupid asshole"? (Could probably do better but, like you, feel lazy.)
10/8/2004 [Censored]: how about, "Stop trying to fuck in on it, you genius of stupidity."?
10/8/2004 Jon Matza: Funny, I was going to comment on how shorts ending with gratuitously mean-spirited dialogue (like that one) don't seem to go over well.
10/8/2004 scoop: How about: "I know it's good for me. I know. I know. I know. I know it's really good for me. It's real good. I know how good it is. I know."
10/9/2004 Jon Matza: Fluffernutter.