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There was a God. At least, there was a God-like figure. He didn't have anything to do, however, with the creation of the Earth. That was separate.

But God did exist, as a man floating up in space.

God had turned into a horrible pervert over time. For the first three billion years, he had been able to turn himself by fantasizing about pretty straightforward stuff. But somewhere in Four Billions he had become jaded, and those well-worn images in the old spank bank were not doing the trick anymore.

And so it had come to this. God had his dick being sucked down hard by a black hole. He was snuffing out populated planets with his right hand, and holding up the blanket with the left hand.

After a few false starts and after setting one really advanced planet fully ablaze, he managed to drip out a few billion tons of liquid hydrogen, which was what came out when his heart wasn't in it.

His heart never seemed to be in it anymore.