AcmeShorts

Butch pulled off his cap and grabbed a bottle of milk from the ice box. He found some cookies in the pantry, and then went to the living room and flopped down in front of the radio. The Shadow was about to come on, so Butch slipped his hand down his slacks, ready to mash mutton, when his mom came in from the kitchen. Rats! He was always pulling boners like this.

“Butch! You know very well you’re not supposed to heave hose before your father comes home.” Butch’s mom sat on the edge of the couch and smoothed the pleats of her dress. Then she spread her legs wide open and showed off her tangled, swampy pubes.

“Golly fuck, ma’am, The Shadow’s almost on and I’m ready to pop!” He sulked over to the set and turned it off.

Just then, the sound of Butch’s father’s Studebaker crashing through the garage door drifted into the living room. A moment later, Butch’s father stumbled into the living room, his face bloody as usual from the crash into the garage door. He loosened his tie, glanced at his wife’s rat’s nest, noticing how her now-swollen, gray, protruding lips peeked out through the pubic underbrush, and how her wetness had dripped down and was pooling on her asshole, causing the stray tufts of hair there to curl together in clumps. He patted Butch on the head, parked it on the couch next to his wife, and pulled out his love slug.

“Now who wants to tune into The Shadow?” Butch’s Father said with a wink to the boy.

“Yay!!” squealed Butch. He ran to the set and turned it back on. And with that, they all settled down to masturbate like a family.