AcmeShorts

Jonny Droppings, a technical school dropout, cruised the town of afternoons, looking for tag sales.

"They're so gay and vibrant!" he would often exclaim before receiving the beating of his life.

"And what of estate sales?" inquired Finula.

"What of them," Jonny sneered, "They're depressing. The entire contents of a man's house strewn before you because he just went bankrupt. Frankly, Finula, I find the mere idea of it utterly tasteless."

"You have such depth of feeling, Jonny. Marry me!"

"Give me one good reason."

"My biological clock is ticking."

"Gross!"

Date Written: before 2002
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.28571
Comments:
before 2002 anonymous (4):
04/30/2003 assman69 (5): Great work by Jonny "Droppings" Feldspar on this autobigraphical piece.
02/11/2004 scoop (5): Boils down to its essence the old Feldsparian one-two-linguistic skidoo. And this short, as Feldman's work often does, reminds us of how gross attending to our biological needs can be.
05/10/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Also that our brains are distended and gross.
05/10/2004 scoop: utterly should have been spelled udderly. The Lerpa. You decidedly blew it.
05/15/2004 TheBuyer (5): ...what the hell am I even laughing at...
12/24/2004 Shane Mahoney (1): I fail to see how this piece addresses the pressing issue of how we are moving forward in our application of the North American ideal of preservation and the stewardship of our vital natural rezources.
12/24/2004 qualcomm: yet another one-dimensional "guest"
01/29/2005 The Rid (5): Genius.
03/27/2011 Marvin_Bernstein: refreshing and somewhat interesting
03/31/2011 scoop: What a coincidence. That's what your mot_her said about my Turkey Juice after she slurped it down, Marvin.
04/4/2011 Marvin_Bernstein: I am so sorry to hear that Scooper. I know from experience that it is not a pleasant experience. Let me know if u need a shoulder to cry on. :( On a serious note: faaaack, where's the party at?