Thornton took his last gasp. Around him were doctors and the operating room. He felt his body floating up to the top of the room, looking down on himself. He saw a white tunnel of light in front of him. There was a figure at the other end.
“I’m ready to go!” Thornton said.
Just then, Charles Darwin appeared in the tunnel. “Hello, I’m Charles Darwin. In life, you believed in heaven and an afterlife. However, I am a manifestation created by your own dying brain to carry the message that there is no heaven, death is final, and you’ve really been wasting your time and causing some harm by being religious. And this tunnel you’re seeing is just a photoelectric effect caused by dying neurons in your visual cortex.”
“Just thought you’d like to know.”
Date Written: August 7, 2005 Author:Will Disney Average Vote: 4.2
Comments:
08/8/2005The Rid: Eh.
08/8/2005Will Disney: But wait, this isn't true, correct?
08/8/2005anonymous: Do you want to talk to Turgid? Turgid is not here right now, mother.
08/8/2005Dick Vomit (4): Hey. I'm on board with this. Don't agree? Tough darts!
08/8/2005Streifenbeuteldachs (3.5): Darwin certainly has a refreshingly modern knowledge of photo-neurology.
08/8/2005anonymous: Smug? H'auteur?
08/8/2005scoop: Everyone knows eveoluiton is just a theory and can't explain everything, right?
08/8/2005Dick Vomit: Totally.
08/8/2005TheBuyer: Evolution can fuck right off, I want a tail.
08/8/2005Ewan Snow (5): fucking religious assholes!
08/8/2005TheBuyer (4): You are so going to burn for that.
08/8/2005Mr. Pony: I'm guessing that it was Thornton's religion that caused him to completely misunderstand the nature of the photoelectric effect. Or maybe, like, there's a metal plate is his head and he understands it just fine!
08/8/2005scoop: If you would check your various science manuals Pony you'll see that nowhere does evolution account for the photoelectric effect. Or I guess an amoeba just grew legs, crawled out of the primordial soup and then magically "evolved" into a photoelectric effect.