AcmeShorts

"Northeast Loan & Trust, this is Cuntfart Doodydick. How may I help you?" Again, there was only silence, and what sounded like a stifled sneeze. If he didn't know better, Cuntfart Doodydick could swear it was muffled laughter. "Hello?" said Cuntfart Doodydick. "Hello, this is Cuntfart Doodydick, how may I direct your call? Hello? Hello?" Was someone playing a prank? That didn't make any sense. What possible humor could anyone, even a child, find in calling a place of business and not saying anything? If that was the case, Cuntfart Doodydick had a good mind to call the police. But what if it was a customer? There was the bind. The only thing to do was keep the lines of communication open! "Hello? How may I, Cuntfart Doodydick, assist you today?"