AcmeShorts

“Oh God!” screamed Bud. “I got here as fast as I could. My poor boy! Are you okay?”
“Shhhhhh!” said Lilly. “He’s sleeping.”
“What happened? What’s going on?”
“It was hackers!”
“What?”
“They hacked into his penis?”
“What?! Did the hack it off???”
“No, you idiot, computer hackers.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Dr. Putzmangler is running some tests. They think that hackers hacked into our son’s penis. His penis!”
“Why? How?”
“They’re not sure, but they think it was through the pee hole.”
“No!”
“Yes…”
“What did they do, these hackers?”
“They think it was more vandalism than anything really malicious. It’s all better now, but they gave our teenage son a huge boner.”
“A boner…”
“Those bastards! They hack into penises now and give people boners?!”
“Uh… honey…”
“What’s this country coming to? My poor son!”
“Oh, honey… don’t look now, but I think they’re hacking in again…”
“NO-OOOO!!!!!!!!!!”