AcmeShorts

True Story -- 1985

Feldspar had a sparkle in his eye as he told the story. “Mr. Bulmier sent a note to Shane’s mom.” He leaned in close for the best part, “it said Shane was feeling his own oats. You know what that means?”

“No,” I said.

Feldspar looked both ways to make sure nobody was watching and began pumping his fist into his crotch. “It means whacking off,” he said, in case I still didn’t understand.