AcmeShorts

When I was 7, I saw my future self standing in the street looking up at my bedroom window. I went outside and asked him what he wanted.

"I just want to tell you kid, things are gonna get a bit rough for you later on in life but try to be strong and stick to what you believe and you'll be ok." I stared at him blankly and went back inside.

When I was 9, I killed and ate my first human.

Date Written: January 15, 2004
Author: Dylan Danko
Average Vote: 4.3333
Comments:
01/20/2004 Ewan Snow (4): (giggle)
01/20/2004 Moe-Ron: Wasn't this a Bruce Willis movie?
01/20/2004 Will Disney: And when you were 21? Law school?
01/20/2004 Dylan Danko: No, Disney, Div. school.
01/20/2004 Dylan Danko: Oh and Ewan, I don't need your fucking patronizing giggle.
01/20/2004 qualcomm: how futuristic was this self? i mean, have things turned out ok for you then, or does that come later?
01/20/2004 Dylan Danko: Like you care.
01/20/2004 Moe-Ron: Tagline from The Kid: Nobody ever grows up quite like they imagined. How apt.
01/20/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Yaaaaay!
01/21/2004 Ewan Snow: Okay, I take it back, fucker! Disney, change my vote to one star!!!
01/21/2004 Dylan Danko: Hey man, I just said I didn't need the giggle, man.
01/21/2004 Texxx: So Danko, are we to assume there's a covert (or not so covert) relationship here between you and Pony?
01/23/2004 Dylan Danko: You can assume all you want. Pony plays with my balls in exchange for legal advice. Any other questions?
01/23/2004 Texxx: Gross.
01/23/2004 Mr. Pony: Wow, Texxx, what's that all about?
01/23/2004 Texxx: See comments for this.
01/24/2004 Dylan Danko: Nothing gross about it. I got real pretty balls.
01/26/2004 scoop (4): dude come on. no you dont. anyhting that groans like that simply can't have handsome genetalia. oh yeah, good short.
01/27/2004 Dylan Danko: Were those words you just wrote, Scoop?
01/28/2004 Moe-Ron: Yes. And each is pregnant with its own mysterious meaning...
01/28/2004 scoop: sorry. that last message was in fact from me, guvn'r!
02/17/2005 Litcube: This was funny. Short, hard hitting, and unique.