AcmeShorts

It was the retarded honeymoon. They sat on the edge of the hotel kingsized in their ill-fitting wedding costumes, faces pressed together, tongues lolling around one another like fat leeches writhing under salt.

They had promised her parents to wait until this very special evening to consummate their union. And being good feebs, they had not only kept their promise, but had gone so far as to refrain from venturing even beyond 'first base.'

So when Eugenia's talc-dusted bosom began heaving in anticipation, her little moans punctuating every kiss, Geoffrey couldn't contain himself. He placed his clammy paws upon both mammae, gently at first. When she responded with the irrestible gaze of a retarded doe in heat, he began mauling them in earnest.

"Oh, Yefffwee," she cooed.

"Oh, Uhgeeeneea," he said back.

There was movement in his lap. It was getting tight.

"Somethings wong," he said.

"What is it, Yeffwee?"

"Something's in my pants!"

Yeffwee stood up. There was something in his pants.

"Oh, Yeffwee, what is it, what is it?!"

He unzipped his fly.

"AAaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhh!!" screamed Eugenia.

"Auuuugh!" screamed Geoffrey. "Fix it! Fix it! You have to fix it!"