A small woman wearing a lorgnette and a shawl approached him.
“It’s such a pleasure to meet you,” she gushed.
“Oh, thank you,” ArtTron IV heard itself reply.
“Can you tell me a little bit about this piece?”
ArtTron IV ‘felt’ flattered; certain circuits in its positronic array fired, filling its neural net with the perception that it was performing its primary functions exceptionally.
“You just happened to pick my favorite one to ask about,” ArtTron IV said.
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. This was actually the first piece in the collection, and I can’t help but feel that I never surpassed it. I first got the idea for it while watching CNN’s coverage of the Colombian coup d’etat…”
*
Later, ArtTron IV slumped on its sofa with a bottle of Jack Daniels. One of its primary functions was to consume alcohol. It swigged from the bottle as the man-apes from “2001: A Space Odyssey” cavorted on the television. They had just discovered the monolith, and were about to graduate to a new level of consciousness. It was the only video ArtTron IV owned.
ArtTron IV looked in its lap. The young girl it had picked up after the show was still at it. She bobbed up and down on its giant phallus. ArtTron IV chose this moment to flood her mouth with its sterile seed. Its pleasure circuits fired, filling its neural net with the perception that it was performing its primary functions exceptionally.
“Oohh, man,” it moaned.
“You like that, baby,” she asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her wrist.
“There’s some Listerine under my sink,” it replied.
She buttoned her blouse and went to the bathroom.
The apes on the television triumphed over their rivals through the use of tools. The ghost of a thought buzzed around ArtTron IV’s head, lingering just outside of its programming. It had experienced this perception several times during the last few months…