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After releasing a torrent of hot urine from my urethra onto the unsuspecting crowd below, peppering old and young alike, it struck me how a lack of religious faith factored into my recent streak of ill behavior. Standing near the edge of the basilica window, I could see the newly yellow-ochred prostrating themselves before the giant structure, their actions resulting from a mixture of awe and Pavlovian response.

Date Written: January 04, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 2.3333

01/14/2005 qualcomm (2):
01/14/2005 TheBuyer (2): turgid?
01/14/2005 anonymous: Yes?
01/14/2005 anonymous: Hello?
01/14/2005 TheBuyer: what giant structure, the urethra?
01/14/2005 Litcube (2): Yeah, Buyer, this smacks of The Weird Kid.
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: I have the same problem with this as I did with the horse short yesterday. A less tactful gentleman might ask, "So what? And then what happened?" Also, the word "Pavlovian" would seem to indicate that this particular flock gets peed on a lot.
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: Actually, that part's kind of cool.
01/14/2005 qualcomm: i think we are meant to take the word "unsuspecting" in the first sentence, pony, and apply it to the crowd for the duration of the short. they never realize they are being peed on. their genuflection before the cock-shaped basilica seems has nothing, in their minds, to do with being urinated on.
01/14/2005 The Rid (2): Weak.
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: Many strange word choices in this short have led me astray.
01/14/2005 anonymous: Perhaps I did not articulate this clearly, but for one, the giant structure is the basilica. I think this is pretty straightforward. As for the response of the onlookers, they are bowing because they are standing before a religious temple and assimilate the spray from such a height as some sort of religious miracle. You know, the crying Mary, et al.
01/14/2005 anonymous: Has The Rid ever been the first to weigh in? Just curious.
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: I believe he has, anon_user_a. I hope that you weren't suggesting that the Rid is afraid to voice an opinion out in the open.
01/14/2005 TheBuyer: Dude, picking on The Rid for being careful with his ratings is like punching a baby for being scared of the toilet.
01/14/2005 anonymous: The toilet is somewhat scary. Where does all that water go?
01/14/2005 Jon Matza: You know what I just realized? This short is suspiciously Texxx-like in its language.
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: What about the writing is Texxx-like? How do you remember how Texxx writes? All his shorts are gone! You must loooooooove him, then!
01/14/2005 anonymous: I assume being likened to Texxx is not complimentary from what I've seen on the message boards. Or is it Rid-like? I'm confused (and insulted?, etc.).
01/14/2005 The Rid: Hey, anon_a, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you choosing to be anonymous?
01/14/2005 The Rid: Buyer, while I appreciate the...uh, assist...your choice of comparison is, uh, odd.
01/14/2005 The Rid: Afraid, anon_a? Cocksucker.
01/14/2005 TheBuyer: Well, you see Rid, every time tree or anyone else takes a shot at you and you don't defend yourself, I get this image of someone picking up a baby and shaking it, or punching the baby, and I think, "Don't you punch that baby!" After the pounding you took for careless ratings back a while ago I think it's pretty unfair to pick on you for following someone else's lead - two for flinching, you dig?
01/14/2005 Jon Matza: Pony: I certainly studied Texxx' work closely back when I was a) quarreling with him and b) trying to identify precisely why his writing & commentary raised my hackles so much. Call it love if you want. Anyhow, I'd say the similarity lies in the very qualities you noted earlier...odd word choices (e.g., ‘peppering’ with urine, ‘ill’ behavior, actions ‘resulting’ from a ‘response’)...and the slightly bewildered "so what" response the short instills in the reader. Also the extraneous & seemingly random Pavlov allusion, which my skeptical mind suspects was included only to add an ersatz intellectual sheen. There's something intangible about the tone, too. Apologies, author (and to Scoop for apologizing). I'm not trying to pick a fight, be funny, rehash an old feud, and may well be wrong. Even if I’m not, I hope you stick around & keep writing. Seriously.
01/14/2005 The Rid: Buyer: Dig.
01/14/2005 The Rid: And you can find plenty of evidence of me voting first in the time that I've been on this site. Assholes.
01/14/2005 anonymous: Is the sheen not lustrous? Apologies, etc. But thanks for all the attention, readers!

The Turg
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: Hey, Rid, I hope you know I was making fun of anon_a there, and not you. You hear that, anon_a? You've voted/spoken first plenty of times. And not always carelessly, either. ;)
01/14/2005 Mr. Pony: aw god i just fucking winked. i hope you're happy.
01/14/2005 anonymous: :|
01/14/2005 The Rid: Pony: Yes, thank you! I was so worked up over anon_a's comment that I forgot to thank you for your defense of my, The Rid's, voting. What a day!
01/14/2005 anonymous: :(
01/14/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): Quite frankly, I enjoyed this one. It reminded me of the futility of faith.
01/15/2005 The Rid: FU, Streif!
01/16/2005 cuntry (2): impressive imagery all for... ?