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“Hey Carl, when I was in the officer’s lounge I heard this guy on TV guy say that if you process it right, you can extract alcohol from gasoline.” *** “Roger HQ, insurgent-controlled refinery is destroyed. I’m turning around to head back to base – shit, this gauge can’t be right.” *** “Fucking Syrians and their bullshit Soviet surplus, if your rocket brought down the plane, Abdul, then where’s the explosion? Huh? Answer that, baby. Take the pilot to my tent. We’re going to salvage material from the wreckage.” *** “English? No? No speak English? Some fucking rescue, what about sign language? Drink? Booze? What the hell is the international symbol for shitface? Hey! Omar or whatever, can’t you see I need a fucking drink? Is a swig from that bottle there too much to ask?” *** “Well, Katie, my weeks on the run with the rebels were no picnic either. Since insurgents controlled the area refineries the rebels had to power their vehicles with alcohol. And despite my situation it was a shame to see vintage scotch wasted like that.” *** “Shhh, keep it down. Now for the last time, we’re at the docks tonight because Craig told me this guy on TV said you can get alcohol from boat gas, so come on.”

Date Written: July 07, 2005
Author: Kenji X
Average Vote: 1.83333

Comments:
07/18/2005 Will Disney: Can someone parse this for me? So there's a pilot who hears about alcohol being used as fuel, and then he's shot down, and then he is being interviewed on TV?
07/18/2005 Mr. Pony: And the last guy is someone new? To show how the endless cycle of trying to get drunk off of fuel continues, as it has since time immemorial?
07/18/2005 The Rid: Hey, this isn't funny or clever.
07/18/2005 Litcube: I raised my eyebrows and whistled, o-ther. TheRid, since you know what's going on here, can you explain it to the rest of us frothing numb-limbed retards?
07/18/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: This short actually had a plot!
07/18/2005 The Rid: Litcube, you're not a retard! Honestly. Anyway, my comment refers only to my gut reaction of this short. I'll read again later and vote, at which time I may be stumped, just as you (falsely?) seem to be.
07/18/2005 Litcube: No, not falsely. I'll honestly lay down my inability to grasp the concept of this piece, and by doing so, forfeit the right to critique it. I thought that maybe because you did, you may have had a handle on this. Also, I'm a little bit retarded. Like, I have retarded tendencies (the noises).
07/18/2005 The Rid: Yeah, the noises. I forgot about those. Anyway, I don't really "get" this short, either, but I also don't like its chopped up structure or the silly middle east angle. I don't know if it's striving for topicality, but it seems like it is, and I don't really appreciate it.
07/18/2005 Mr. Pony (2.5): This is a simple tale, Author; told in an ambitious manner. There's a fellow who wants, above all else, to have a drink--something so regular as to be almost completely unremarkable, especially when played for simple laughs. Your method is interesting, but I believe it is dragged down by your mundane content. Or, if you prefer, your mundane content is elevated by your interesting methods.
07/18/2005 Partytime (2.5): The title made me think I wrote it, then I realized I'd never have rebels fighting insurgents. On to the meat of this Gomer Pyle cum Nick Fury. The idiot pilot wants a drink and uses his own jet fuel > runs out of gas and crashes > he bitches about gettin' shot down and then the rebel leader chimes in about tent/wreckage > hero complains about rebel hospitality and using booze in vehics > back with US military trying to get booze from boat fuel. Brother, these are vignettes.
07/18/2005 Hapifrut: I'd assumed these were all pieces of overheard conversation, pulled off the airwaves from cell phones and walkies?
07/18/2005 anonymous: I was just trying to show, in an afterschool special kind of way, the dangers of playing with paint cans and oily rags
07/20/2005 Kenji X: You guys suck, you couldn't tell it was the ever-lovin' ol' blue eyed Thing?
08/3/2005 qualcomm (0.5):