home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


Jarvinia hungrily eyed the succulent watermelon slices her mother Schmetterling carried towards the table. She pounced upon the tray immediately, taking a massive bite out of the largest piece.

“Jarvinia! Stop that! You’re eating all the seeds!” cried her mother.

“But I’m hungry Momma,” bemoaned Jarvinia, chin drenched in watermelon juice.

Schmetterling quickly retorted, “Don’t you know that if you eat the seeds, a watermelon will grow inside your stomach?”

A dark, worried look settled upon Jarvinia’s face as she placed both dripping hands upon her belly. Taking notice, Schmetterling inquired, “What is it my darling?”

“I think I’m pregnant with Uncle Jurgen’s child.”

Date Written: February 12, 2004
Author: Dolemite
Average Vote: 4.625

02/17/2004 Mr. Pony (4): When you think about it, that's a pretty sophisticated joke.
02/17/2004 Craig Lewis (5): Dolemite delivers again!
02/17/2004 Jon Matza: Disney, what's with all the perv uncles in Today's AcmeShort Afternoon Edition? Fix! Fix!
02/17/2004 Texxx (4): Sophisticated and disturbing. A potent combination.
02/17/2004 Noah Simple (4): Isn't Jurgen a brand of moisturizer? Ah, well, perhaps all the better then.
02/17/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: That's "Jergen's."
02/18/2004 Will Disney: the question is, what's with all the perv uncles in real life?
02/18/2004 Will Disney (5): this short is something special
02/18/2004 scoop (5): I'm not all that sure this is a joke. I'm convinced that if Woman guzzles enough of that stuff all that precious seed will find sweet purchase in her belly and give birth to a much more sophisticated breed of humanoid that will topple Homo Uterinus' fragile institutions.
09/8/2004 TheBuyer (5): Random gold.
01/20/2005 Litcube (5): Ah, fuck.