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Leonard – Part 3 - Dead Broad

As she reached the halfway point, Leonard was able to make out the naked woman’s features more clearly.

“Not bad at all,” he thought, “Wonder what her ass looks – “
A massive orthopaedic shoe came down on top of her then flew into the air as a huge wad of obese amphibian crashed onto the floor reminding Leonard of every banana peel gag he had ever seen.

“Shit!” he said as the running woman was crunched into a memory; a delicious, perfect memory, “She was way out of my league anyway.”
What- are you rationalizing? Get a grip. Giant toads.

Behind the smashed woman, and under the flying shoe was a stumpy, balding, ugly little man that managed to avoid all that falling and smashing and crushing and was now running furiously toward the planter with his dick flipping from side to side in opposite cadence to his comb-over. He was puffing madly, eyes on the prize

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit,” he skidded to halt next to Leonard, wiped his forehead and stuck out his hand, “Hi, I’m Roy,” he panted.

Leonard just stared at him.

“What? What’s the matter? Hey, could I get some napkin, I’m a fuckin’ mess,” he reached out and grabbed the top half of Leonard’s toga, “Thanks.”

More staring.

“So,” Roy said, hands on his knees, “Where ya headed?”

Staring tri-facta.

“You alright? You look kinda pale. Did you eat today? ‘Cause I am fuckin’ starving right now. You want to maybe get cleaned up, get some dinner?”

“Are you fucking with me? Holy fucking fuck what the fuck is with this place?”

“Hey pal, don’t get the wrong idea, I’m all man, I’m just makin’ friendly conversation is all.”

Leonard was not starting to get it yet, but he would.

Date Written: July 22, 2004
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 2

07/28/2004 anonymous: Sorry Disney, she would've made a lousy foil anyway.
08/3/2004 Jacob Starfish: I sort of get the feeling that you are making this up as you go along. I don't think that that's a bad thing to do, but I don't think I should be so conscious of it.
08/3/2004 Mr. Pony (2):
12/28/2004 TheBuyer: this one is better than two. dink.
12/28/2004 Litcube: Did the couch at Asshole inspire the name for this short?
12/28/2004 TheBuyer: What, 'Dead Broad'? I wasn't at that party.