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Spud Rogen picked a large hunk of gefilte fish from between his healthy kike teeth.

"Oy," the little Hebe thought, "I hope that wasn't there during last evening's hora!"

He straightened his tie and walked out the door, air-kissing the mezuzah as he passed the threshhold. Then, thinking the better of it, he turned around. Darting his shifty eyes this way and that, the little mockey made sure no one was watching. Satisfied, Rogen opened the hinged mezuzah casing, revealing a digital keypad.

"Now, what was that combination again," the little vermin wondered.

He rolled up his left shirt sleeve and squinted at the tattoo on his wrist: 7653739332.

Hunching over, Rogen typed the numbers onto the keypad (he really did look like a cockroach when viewed from behind!).

As soon as the last digit had been entered, a MIDI rendition of "Hava Nagila" chimed softly, and a yarmalke-shaped trapdoor anussed open on Rogen's foyer floor. He closed the door behind him and descended the spiral stairs, removing a small, yellow envelope from the secret pocket of his pinstripe suit jacket.

to be continued....

Date Written: December 16, 2002
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 5

12/16/2002 anonymous (5):
04/20/2004 Mr. Pony: I think this is one of the first shorts I ever read, ever. The first line has been with me ever since. Sometimes I repeat it to myself, quietly. Five stars, why not.
04/20/2004 Ferucio P. Chhretan: But you didn't rate it, Pony! Come back! "anussed open"...Wow.
04/20/2004 Mr. Pony: Whoops. Yeah, this thing's downright seminal, in my mind. I'm actually sort of shocked there were no votes or comments until yesterday. Wasn't this the center of some sort of controversy or something?
04/20/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, what do you know! I voted anonymously! I hope I had a good reason for doing that. Somebody else vote, so I can see what I gave it!
04/20/2004 scoop (5):
04/20/2004 John Slocum (5): Spud Rogen? Sounds so familiar. Nice job!
04/20/2004 Mr. Pony: I gave it four stars?--not quite criminal, but not quite right, either.
04/20/2004 Tiddlycove (5):
02/25/2005 John Slocum: Hey, can someone please give this short some attention, the attention it deserves?!?
02/26/2005 TheBuyer: We're sorry. We did not find a listing for the phone number you entered. (765) 373-9332 is a Richmond, IN based phone number and the registered carrier is Mci Worldcom Communications, Inc.
05/21/2011 anonymous: I don't get it
05/29/2011 anonymous: still don't get it