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“Boy, I want to tell yew something. C’mere. Yew wanna let me down? Huh? Yew wanna embarrass me like ‘at? When I get yew home…” “I’m tryin’, Pa, but the ball jest passes me every time…” “Boy, yew listen to me. I'm’a gonna kick yew. Yew didn't even want to bend down, god damn it. ‘Scuse me, Lord. Why did we spend all them hours shagging fly balls if yew were jest gonna stand there like a dumb shit? I'm'a gonna whoop yew tonight because yew let me down. “No, I din’t.” “Yes, yew did. Everyone’ll say my boy can’t shag balls like the other boys. Even that Jew, Goldfarb, can shag better’n’yew. I don't give a rat’s ass if yew go in there and play a hunnert percent. I'll get yew, buddy. Cry about that shit.” And the boy did cry. He watched Goldfarb bare-knuckle a fast grounder and make the throw home all the way from right field. The boy cried harder.

Date Written: August 12, 2005
Author: The Rid
Average Vote: 3.875

08/16/2005 Kenji X: "As I Lay Crying" by qualcomm Faulkner.
08/16/2005 TheBuyer: That Jew Goldfarb sounds like a pretty talented kid, good for him!
08/16/2005 Will Disney: So we've got yew and Jew in this Short, eh? And a white man being outshone by a Jewish person in sports, eh?
08/16/2005 anonymous: Hello TheBuyer and Will Disney.
08/16/2005 TheBuyer: Hello Kenjitime!
08/16/2005 anonymous: Hank Greenberg and Sandy Koufax would be proud of Goldfarb, I bet.
08/16/2005 Litcube (3.5): I wish that this were easier to read, because there's a tender story behind all this pausing, and jarring flow.
08/16/2005 Klause Muppet: Looks like qualcomm can not regenerate. that's too bad, dude.
08/16/2005 Klause Muppet: dudes, that comment was meant for the message board. something is rotten in acme.
08/16/2005 Mr. Pony: I say again, something's odd here. This Goldfarb kid wouldn't happen to have grown up to become this guy, would he? Or, for that matter, this guy?
08/16/2005 Mr. Pony: Dan dan DAAAAAAAN!
08/16/2005 The Fonch:
It would appear that there were *at least two* very talented Jewish baseballs players.

The Fonch
08/16/2005 anonymous: Different Goldfarb, Mr. Pony.
08/16/2005 Mr. Pony: The dentist, then.
08/16/2005 anonymous: I'll tell you the genesis of the Goldfarb name. I recently saw Requium for a Dream, which I had never seen before, and two prominent characters were Harry and Sara Goldfarb. Then I came across the Elvis Costello posting and saw the name again, and decided to use it in my next short. I wish it were more interesting, like "Sari Goldfarb was this totally hot Jewess that I banged all through high school," but no, it isn't.
08/16/2005 TheBuyer (4): Okay!
08/16/2005 Mr. Pony (3.5): Okay. I'll tell you, author; there was no one angle here that added enough of a twist to any of the other angles to really set this one ablaze for me. Combining the three directions seems interesting at first, but the whole thing sort of flattens out for me. The parts do blend well, I'll give you that.
08/17/2005 Dick Vomit: The father in this piece would most certainly say "dumbshit" and not "dumb shit."
08/17/2005 The Rid: Potato/potato.
08/17/2005 TheBuyer: Boy, [pronounced 'bwa'] you gotta lot to learn about rednekkin.
08/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Goldfarb/Goldfarb.
08/17/2005 The Rid: I just talked to the guy on whom Pa is based, Dick, and he distinctly said, "Dumb shit." Two words. Like Hippy in The Abyss.
08/17/2005 Partytime: Nice work Matza!!
08/17/2005 TheBuyer:
08/19/2005 Shane (4.5): {mmmmm... baseball}